Chad and Nikki

Being a Mom!

2012-02-11T10:00:00.000-05:00

I'm a mom. I work a public job. And I like(actually I really love what I do) it. It works best for our family. That doesn't make it the best decision for every family but it is the best for ours. When I got laid-off in 2010 I considered staying home but very quickly realized that it wasn't right for our family. Right now I work part time while I finish school. Hopefully, when I'm finished with school I can go full time with the county I work in and their full time schedule is wonderful. Especially for a mom with little ones.

I read a post recently that expressed what I have wanted to express for a long time but never seem to have the right words. You can read it here.

Whatever our choices as a mother we should support one another as mothers. And be understanding of the differences and sameness(??).

Happy mothering!

Friday, I'm In Love

2012-02-10T10:16:00.001-05:00

It's Friday! And if I had a regular Monday through Friday job where I had every weekend off I would be really excited but since I don't and I have to work tonight then Friday is just another day.

But tomorrow we are having our traditional birthday dinner for Clayton. My family does this every year for everybody's birthday. And the one celebrating the birthday gets to pick what they want for dinner on that one day. Clayton in all of his almost four year old wisdom chose chicken tenders. He could have the world and chose chicken tenders, something he eats probably at least two days a week already. Childhood simplicity.

And speaking of almost four year old boys....................I don't have him a birthday present. Chad and I don't even have an idea for a present. He has so much and so may people love him. The only thing that comes to mind is a goldfish named Dorothy(like Elmo's fish). I believe he needs(that's certainly relative) than a fifty cent goldfish.

Currently the three and nine-tenths child is trying to force feed my gummy words. Nasty!

But I do love this little man.

Photography iPhone style courtesy of Clayton. I don't have a clue how he made it red.

Circus(iPhone style)

2012-02-06T18:03:00.000-05:00

So this isn't so much the circus as it is a picture of my dinner from Date Night. If you live locally to me this place is a must try. Chad and I love it. Root & Vine has amazing food and a really inviting atmosphere. It's a little pricey so we don't get to go much but we really love it for a date night when it's just the two of us.

Now on to the circus.

Almost all of my NC family(I have a tee tiny family) went circusing this past Saturday. We had so much fun. Because Clayton went with his parents, one set of grandparents, one aunt and uncle, and one great-grandmother he really racked up on the goodies. We prefer the word "blessed" as to spoiled. Although I'm sure both words apply equally.

This twisty gem of a toy is courtesy of Great-Grandmother. Clayton was a fan and it very quickly became a weapon.

And of course cotton candy.

And popcorn at the same time.

After the circus we took our circus to Maggiano's. Do ya'll have one of these near you? If you don't you should move near one.

After we ate lunch, Clayton wanted to play at the mountain, AKA fountain. When he threw his money in, his wish was "to get all that money out of the mountain". Brilliant!

And this is how all of us were feeling after our adventure.

It was so worth it.

Busy is as Busy Does

2012-02-02T09:46:00.000-05:00

Today is my first "real" day off in 10 days. If I work a night shift and then have the following day off I don't count that. While I should get off at 8am, it rarely ever happens and by the time I get Clayton it feels like it's already lunch time. Bubba and I are just chillin' today. We have a grand plan of cleaning the house and buying groceries. And then making my husband a real dinner, because let's face it it may be 10 more days before I have another "real" day off.

Here's what's new in our world:

Clayton has a new obsession with Sesame Street. He has never ever been interested in it. But at almost 4 he is officially obsessed. Since we're being lazy today, he's already on episode #2.
We are going to the circus on Saturday. The real circus. Ringling Brothers will have their hands full when the Carr/Carswell clan intrude on their circusy activities.
I have a clinical tomorrow and Clayton is going to get to spend part of the day and all night with my Grandmother. He is very excited and has been talking about this for weeks. It's very sweet. He always asks to stay "much longer" when we're visiting.
I have fallen in love with my crock-pot. I have always used it pretty regularly but since I now work 12 hour(at the shortest) days I like to have dinner ready to go when I get home. And this helps us to eat more "real food" and less processed or take-out stuff(that is probably rotting our insides).
I only have 11 class days until graduation. They are spread out over 11 weeks and I have a lot of clinical left to do. But, it seems shorter saying 11 days.
Clayton is at the size where he's teetering between toddler sizes and the bigger boy sizes. I usually end up getting his clothes in the bigger boy sizes now. Belk was having an amazing sale last week and he got his first pair of big boy PJs. The kind that don't come with a matching shirt like really big boys wear. He thinks he's pretty hot stuff in jammies like his Dad.

That's about it for us right now. The grocery store beckons me. And my dirty floors too.

Santorum and How We're Connected

2012-01-30T14:49:00.001-05:00

Disclaimer: This is not a political post. I have my personal views but will not air them here.

At least not right now.

I'll confess I don't really have the time right now to follow the political scene like I would like. I do make an effort to place my vote based on education and intelligent decision. Yesterday at family lunch my Dad asked me if I had heard about Rick Santorum's daughter. I told him that I knew she was sick, that he had went home to be with her, and that I didn't really know why this was important to me as my homemade macaroni and cheese was getting cold. He proceeded to correct me as usual. Mr. Santorum's daughter has full Trisomy 18. Just like our daughter Johanna.

I did some online searching and found some really interesting articles and Youtube videos related to his daughter Bella. She is an amazing child who has already overcome many obstacles that she has had to face.

Rick Santorum and his wife(who is Bella's primary caregiver) chose life in a time when fewer families choose life. I don't know if he will win election or even the primaries. But I do know that his little girl brought Trisomy 18 in to the national spotlight this weekend. Of course there were many negative comments and remarks across the webiverse directed towards him and his family because he took time off to be with his very sick child. Uhm.....isn't that why we are parents? But that's another rant for another day.

So that's how I'm "six degrees of Kevin Bacon" connected to Rick Santorum. I wouldn't even attempt to speculate how his presidential campaign will proceed. But I did like his Facebook page. And I sent his campaign staff an email thanking him for making family and children important in an era and a society that doesn't anymore.

Rant!

2012-01-24T10:00:00.000-05:00

So I just want to get this off of my chest and then hopefully I will feel better. I lost my job(that I actually liked a lot and was decently good at) right at two years ago. I have been fortunate enough to get to back to school with very little money out of my pocket because of grants and scholarships. I currently have a 3.8. I have worked very hard and missed out on a lot of sleep to get that GPA. I recently applied to finish my BS in EMS to an online program at a school about two hours away. That program has a few classes that I can get locally. I had the time in my schedule to get one of these classes out of the way so I decided to go for it. It isn't an easy class and I didn't expect it to be. I completed every preliminary assignment appropriately and on time. And somehow I still got dropped from the class. So I email the instructor inquiring as to why I was dropped. And I receive a very terse response basically stating that I had not completed what I was supposed to but that I would graciously be given another opportunity because I have good grades. I completed everything again and hopefully that will make the instructor happy and I will be allowed back in to the class.

My rant is this. I find getting an education to be very difficult. Not the actual class work but all of the red tape. It is very expensive. It is very time consuming jumping through all the hoops that have to be jumped through. And right now I'm just a little irritated. I know my rant won't change anything but I feel the need to vent. Every day we tell Clayton that he can do anything he wants to do. And Chad and I stress the importance of an education to him. We did not listen to our parents and both of us have had to go back to college after we got married and it is a lot more difficult than doing it while you are younger with less responsibilities. With that being said we have both succeeded. No it isn't easy but we have still done it.

Why in the world does it have to be so difficult? I guess if it were easy everybody would be doing it.

End rant!

Random Brain Dump

2012-01-23T15:18:00.002-05:00

It is super rainy and just plain nasty in western NC. While this is fantastic for the water table and eventual summer drought that will follow, it is very bad for my pants legs. I do NOT like wet pants legs. And seeing as how I am only 5 feet tall(literally) my pants have always dragged the ground. So I compromised with the weather today and wore a skirt and boots.
I have a love/hate relationship with cooking. I always feel like I should be cooking regularly to be a good wife and mother. But I just don't like doing it. And on days when I'm on the ambulance for 12-24(or anywhere in between) hours I really don't feel like thinking up something to cook when I get home. So I decided last week to dust off the crock pot, plan meals for each day, and get them in Crocky before I left for work or whatever else I had that day. And it worked. We had dinner every night and I felt accomplished. I dream big folks.
I'm slowly but surely weaning myself off of my Dt. Mtn. Dew habit. I couldn't stop cold turkey because I drank a very large amount every day. I am incredibly picky about what I drink so I knew my step down drug would have to be planned out appropriately. I think I need a 12 step caffeine program. It's pretty bad. But with the aid of Crystal Light Tea(with caffeine....Hallelujah!) I am stepping down. In a few weeks I can fully rely on tea(the regular kind) and water. And speaking of tea, I need something to sweeten it with. I don't really like traditional southern sweet tea because it's too sweet and I don't want to use a lot of Splenda. Is there a more natural alternative that is going to taste like the tea I love without using something that is super processed?
Clayton decided this week that he wants to be a pandamagnet(paramedic) when he grows up. Swoon!
We are going to the circus next weekend and I can't wait. All the Carrs(including my Grandmother) will invade Ringling Brothers. And I'm sure we'll fit right in with the circus people.
My floors need a serious sweep and mop but I have no motivation. And there are about 400 other things I would rather do.
There are only 13 class days left until graduation. I am stoked about this!

Snails and Puppy Dog Tails

2012-01-19T12:00:00.000-05:00

My amazingly hilarious and brilliant(it's true he's way more awesome than I am) is the author of the blog The Chapel Door. He writes about a varied topics but most notably he writes about theology and the "tipping of sacred cows". Sometimes said cows need their figurative(if not literal) tipping.

A few days back he wrote a post(that you can read here) about the emasculating of men our society and how that has negatively effected the church. Basically it's a no holds barred look at the way we(men and women alike) view men and the way men act themselves. Now I have no idea what it is like to be a man in our culture(nor would I want to). But I do have a husband and a son. And I work in a field that is very recently finding itself open to women so there are a lot of men around me regularly. And I have noticed that chivalry and manners are traits that are very swiftly being swept aside. Why I don't know but it breaks my heart for my son.

Before I ever got pregnant with Clayton we were praying for a child and specifically a son. For the very simple reason that our world is in such short supply of "men". Now I know that statistically men make up roughly half of the world's population. Our culture is short on men that willingly and unashamedly stand up for their family. Men that are not afraid of hard work. Men that also aren't afraid or too dignified to help their wives with the housework or give the children a bath. Men that take their families to church on the Lord's day and lead their families in private worship. The reason we prayed so specifically for a son was to have the opportunity to raise a Godly man. I know that anything that Clayton(and any futures) becomes is a direct result of God's sovereign hand and His perfect design. But God chooses the foolishness of parenting to make babies in to adults. Chad and I regularly say that we aren't raising a boy, we are raising a man. It is our belief, hope, and prayer that God uses the things that we are attempting to teach Clayton to show a future generation the love of Christ.

When we prayed for Clayton we didn't pray that God would call him to be a preacher so he could carry on the "family business". We prayed that God would give a son because the church needs Godly men and it needs them now. Chad and I believe that the father that brings his family to church on Sundays and teaches them how to worship and shows them how to love Him is just as important to the church as the pastor, if not more so.

In a world where feminism reigns(and there were some changes towards women that needed to be changed) and where women are supposed to be equal to men it makes me wonder if our men are getting the raw deal? When we decide that women are equal(or better depending on the conversation) to men does that make them less than God has planned for them to be? And for the record I believe that men and women are independently special and shouldn't be compared for equality.

There are specific roles that women and men can fill better than the other one and should be allowed to fill that role. A parenting example, Chad is a much better disciplinarian than I am. I can and do discipline my child but it seems to come so much more naturally to Chad. But I am much more nurturing than Chad is. And that is by God's perfect design. If we were both the same Clayton would either be raised in boot camp or in lala land.

So here's my point(or maybe even my soapbox), let's let our men be men the way God designed them to be. And stop trying to make them in to a softer weaker version of themselves. Let's let our men lead our homes. Let's let our men protect our families in a world that is out to destroy the family. I wouldn't want to be a man in today's society. Ladies I think we have it so much easier for so many reasons.

Here's to men and boys that will be men very soon. Thank you!

Book List

2012-01-18T07:00:00.000-05:00

I'm a reader. I much prefer reading to watching television. I do watch television occasionally but I could lose myself in a book 90% of the time. I got a Kindle Fire for Christmas from Husband Clause and that has just fueled my love even more. Unfortunately right now I think most of my reading is done through a text book(which is kinda boring). However, I do still try to find time to read real books. Here's my list for the last year or so(it is by no means a complete list, it's just some that really stand out):

"The Help" by Kathryn Stockett

Loved it. Read it in about 3 days over Christmas break. I haven't seen the movie because of lack of time. But the book is definitely worth a read.

"The Blind Side: Evolution of a Game" by Michael Lewis

I love football and I love reading. Of course the marriage of these two would be close to perfection and they most definitely were.

"Through My Eyes" by Tim Tebow

I know there are a lot of late comer Tebow fans and that's great. He is using his notoriety quite well to proclaim that Christ is Lord. With that being said we have followed Tebow since his UF days. The book is good. It's an easy read that anybody over the age of 12 could easily read through in a few days. And the book does exactly what Tebow always does.......proclaim Christ as Lord.

"Choosing to See" by Mary Beth Chapman

So I went through a phase where I only read what I call "baby death blogs/books". Please understand what I'm trying to say. These blogs(and for a while I was the author of such a blog) are wonderful outlets for a grieving and hurting heart. They are wonderful snippets of life and I still follow some of them. As my heart is being mended by Him, I have somewhat moved away from that line of reading. I read this book during the darker days of early grief when I needed to know that what I was feeling was completely normal. I mean that we made a conscious choice not to be completely bogged down or consumed with grief. Chad and I made active choices to honor Johanna and the Lord by using her life as a platform to proclaim God. And that is exactly what the Chapmans have done with their daughter's life and death.

"I Will Carry You" by Angie Smith

This was another book I read during the early days after Johanna's death. I could ditto everything I put in the last bullet about this book. Want to know how to praise God in the difficulties? It's easy. Just do it.

"Rekindling the Romance" by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

I believe that Chad and I have no "real" marriage problems but we are still very much human living in a very busy life. It's so easy to get sidetracked about the real reason why we got married. And no it's not because we "love" each other despite what we all think when we say "I Do". This book is a great reminder that "love" is always the under current of marriage but not always what moves the boat along(really lame analogy but it's the best I got).

"Feminine Appeal: Seven Virtues of a Godly Wife and Mother" by Carolyn Mahaney

Oy, I should read this about once a week and then immediately start reading it again. I need to be reminded that often.

"My Dog Skip" by Willie Morris

One of us reads to Clayton every(almost) night at bedtime. We are hoping to start a love of reading(and in my humble opinion a love of learning) in his heart and mind too. this is the first chapter book that we have read to him. I was a little unsure how he would do with it since there are no pictures but he loved it. He wanted to know every night was Skip was going to do. Precious memories with my favorite red head.

That is just a really short list of the books I've read in the last year. There's a lot of fiction thrown in there too for "mindless" reading. I will honestly read just about anything. I try to read new books that are all the rage and I try to read the classics too. I read fiction and non-fiction alike and both in equal amounts. We read every night to Clayton. It's just important to read. It does the mind good.

To Real Food or Not?

2012-01-17T07:00:00.001-05:00

I'm sure most of ya'll have seen or heard about eating "real foods". Well, at first I thought this was a lot of nonsense and was kind of like the Atkins/Sough Beach craze. And as it turns out, it is exactly like that. But I'm not convinced that it's crazy anymore.

Back in the spring of last year I watched Food Inc. mainly because I'm a super nerd that actually likes documentaries. I found it very interesting but I didn't really understand a lot of what I was watching. So I watched it again with my more agriculturally minded(country boy and amazing) husband. He was very helpful in teaching me more about what I was watching. With that being said I began to research more in depth the foods that we have been eating. I'm not going to start a campaign or try to convince anyone that this is right for them because basically it's a personal decision.

I slowly began to change how we were eating and began paying much closer attention to the foods that we eat the most. The main reason I became ~~obsessed~~ interested had to do with Chad's diabetes. Chad is a Type 1(what used to be called Juvenile diabetes) diabetic. He has had an insulin pump for almost four years that has been an absolute life changer for him and us. I did not know until I began to learn more about commercial food processing that we as Americans eat such large amounts of corn and other varying not great for us grains. Corn is a carbohydrate(which in and of themselves aren't bad for us and are absolutely necessary.......in moderation). Carbohydrates raise blood sugar levels requiring more insulin to be secreted by the pancreas or by the pump whichever. And again that isn't a bad thing because that is how God designed the body to work. But if there are hidden grains in things like the proteins that we eat it so much harder to control ones blood sugar.

Very slowly we have started changing some of the things that we eat. And in the sake of honesty we completely fell of the wagon last year and are having to retrain ourselves. It's a never ending process with us Carswells. And there are things that I am not yet ready to give up. Mainly Dt. Mtn Dew. I'm addicted. And I'm OK with it. For now. It's a day at a time and one step at a time and one better decision at a time.

For now, I do my very best to buy whole grain foods that have ingredients that I can actually pronounce and that I know where or how they originated. I do everything I can to buy meats that are hormone/steroid free and that are grass fed. And if I can find local meat I am a happy girl. We don't live near(like 100 miles away from) an Earth Fare or any other type of whole foods store. We are fortunate to have some great grocery stores in our area that do have a very broad selection of whole foods. Mom and I also discovered the beauty that is the Farmer's Market during the spring and summer of last year and I can't wait until they open back up and we can get all that fantastic fresh produce again. A garden may be on the horizon for this year but I'm not completely convinced that I can accomplish this task. I could kill a Chia pet in one day flat.

I have learned to make some things that I would have never even tried before. I make all of the chocolate syrup for Clayton's milk. I make my own creamed corn and it is so much better than canned. I make my own spaghetti sauce. I make my own granola bars. The list could go on and on.

The main reason for our change is to attempt to see a decrease in Chad's blood sugar levels. And when we were very serious about the way we were eating we did. And once we were less serious and fell off the wagon we saw those numbers increase. I think that's enough of a reason for us to pick ourselves back up and try again. One day at a time. Our goal for the year is to continue to eliminate processed foods from our diets, to continue to learn more about the meats and produce we're eating, and to buy local as much as possible(tastier food and an economy booster....score!). We can do this. It's a process and we are learning.

Catching Up

2012-01-16T07:00:00.001-05:00

So, you're probably wanting an update of sorts. Here goes:

Still love football. Roll Tide! In fact I surprised Chad with tickets to a Bama game for our 10th anniversary back in October.
I graduate with an AAS in EMS(and any other letters you want to add) in May. I am way beyond excited to be finished with this stage of gaining an education. However, I have already applied to an online program to get my BS in EMS(hopeful to be a WCU Catamount in August). Can we say glutton for punishment? Yes!
Clayton is almost 4. How did that happen? When did that happen? I'm not sure but I absolutely love it. He is an amazing little boy that just lights up the world around him.
We're still at Calvary Baptist in Lenoir, NC. Our church is absolutely amazing. We love worshiping there and are so fortunate to serve.

So much has happened in my 18 month sabbatical that I don't know where to start to catch up on it all. I guess I could just add a picture of Clayton for pure awesomeness.

(This boy is a train loving cowboy through and through)

Bringin' it Back!

2012-01-14T21:31:00.000-05:00

It's been a while but I think it's time.

Our life is as busy as it always has been, if not more so. I'm not really sure which direction the blog will go now but I'm excited to bring it back. I don't know how often the posts will come but I believe that ya'll will find our lives to be as humorous as always. I fell out of an ambulance at work last week. Who does that?!?! Moving on.

It's great to be back! See ya soon.

All Good Things...

2010-09-30T20:20:00.000-04:00

.............must eventually come to an end. Well not all good things, but I think you get the picture.

I feel, very sadly, that this little blog of mine has run its course. This is officially my last post.

I started this blog mainly as a way for my family to keep up with all the day to day happenings of a certain red head. Then the blog allowed me to share the "Johanna Journey" with the world. This blog and all of the people that I have been so fortunate to meet through has been a wonderful source of therapy and inspiration during the past 18 months. To all of ya'll out there that have ministered to our family, you have no idea how the Lord has used you. I couldn't begin to express the love and appreciation that I have for every kind word and prayer said on behalf of our family. Thank you for walking our road with us. Please continue to remember our family as you pray.

If you wish to still "hang" with me online, shoot me a friend request on Facebook(if not I totally understand). Just be sure you tell me who you are or how I might know you.

To all my friends, I send virtual Goodbye Love(a Clayton tradition when we leave absolutely anywhere).

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

Jeremian 29:11

Thanks for an amazing ride!!!!!!!!!!!

Random Update

2010-09-14T22:57:00.000-04:00

I'm loving school. Right not I'm calling myself a "wannabe EMT/Paramedic"
Pumpkin Spice drinks are back for a limited time at Starbucks
The previous makes me very very happy and more than a little thirsty
I should probably be studying about blood instead of blogging
I went to an aerobics class with my SIL tonight and then we immediately went to dinner afterwards. Brilliant!
Going to the fair on Friday(I'm way more excited about this than any 28 year old should be)
Clayton knows all of his primary colors by sight and name
And a whole bunch of the not primary ones too(I can't remember what they're called)
His favorite color is apparently brown, at least that's what he tells me
I forgot Grandparent's Day. I'm sorry. Happy Grandparent's Day to Tram, Bobba, Mawmaw, Pawpaw, Grandmother, Grandaddy, Mawmaw Cable, and Pawpaw Cable. OOPS!!
I finally figured out how to load pictures to FB successfully. I'm an overachiever I know
We're swiftly approaching Johanna's 1st BDay and Chad and I have something totally awesome planned(I really hope it works out)
I think I can upgrade to a new Blackberry very soon(I certainly hope so, I'm really envious of Chad's)

9/11/2001

2010-09-11T08:45:00.000-04:00

I know I haven't posted a lot lately. However, I could not let today pass without pausing to remember. September 11th 2001 was the first time in my life I truly remember feeling vulnerable and unsafe. I was horrified that an event like this could happen in our country. And then I was amazed at the way New Yorkers and then Americans banned together to make sense of the attack. I don't feel like anything has necessarily changed in the heart and lives of Americans as a whole. But for me, I am more thankful to live in the USA now than I was prior to this incident. I'm always heartbroken on 9/11. So many families were and are touched by these tragedies.

2,998 victims:
266 lives aboard the 4 airplanes
2,229 lives in, around, or near the World Trade Center
23 Police Officers
343 Firefighters and Paramedics
125 Civilians and Military Personel at the Pentagon
19 Terrorists

Operation Iraqi Freedom: 4,404 lives of American Soldiers
Operation Enduring Freedom: 1,257 lives of American Soldiers

Please take the time today to remember these families. If you're in touch with our Heavenly Father, remember to pray for these families today, remember to pray for our soldiers that fight for our freedom everyday, remember to pray for our rescue workers and police officers that fight for our lives every day, remember to pray for our nation as a whole, remember to pray for the families of the 19 terrorists too(they need Salvation just like we do), and remember to say a prayer of Thanksgiving for the privilege to be an American Citizen(if you are).

WOOHOO!!!!!

2010-09-02T19:40:00.000-04:00

It's that time of year again. Football season.

It's time for this:

Aren't you excited?

Southern Gentleman

2010-08-28T08:47:00.000-04:00

I saw this article on another blog and just LOVED it. I can't tell you how many times I've said this same thing.

Ways to Charm Her
Southern Living, July 2009
By Amy Bickers
“Want to impress a Southern girl? Just think “What would my grandfather have done?”

Number one: We still expect you to give up your seat for a lady. On a bus, at a bar, on a train. . . we don’t care where you are. Unless you are at a restaurant and the only lady in sight is the one taking your order, stand up.

We still expect you to…

Stand up for a lady. Actually, this doesn’t just involve chairs.
Know that the SEC has the best football TEAMS IN THE NATION. Big 12 fan? Hmm, perhaps you should keep walking.
Kill bugs. Delta Burke as Southern belle Suzanne Sugarbaker on Designing Women said, “. . .Ya know, when men use Women’s Liberation as an excuse not to kill bugs for you. Oh, I just hate that! I don’t care what anybody says, I think the man should have to kill the bug!”
Hold doors open. This goes for elevator doors too.
Fix things or build stuff. I once watched in awe as my stepfather built a front porch on the house he shares with my mother. He knew just what to do, cutting every notch, hammering every nail. The project was complete by sunset.
Wear boots occasionally. Not the fancy, l-paid-$l,000-for-these kind. We’re talking about slightly mud-crusted, I-could-have-just-come-in-from-the-field boots.
Take off your hat inside.
Grill stuff.
Call us. If you want to ask us out, don’t text and don’t e-mail. Pick up the phone and use your voice.
Stand when we come back to the dinner table. ”Just a little half-stand is enough to make me melt,” my friend Stephanie says.
Pull out chairs. Wait, that’s not all. Scoot them back in before we hit the floor.
Pay the tab on the first few dates. ”If you ask me out, you pay,” Stephanie says. “If I ask you out, you should still pay.” Listen, guys, it’s just simpler this way.
Don’t show up in a wrinkled, untucked shirt. Care about your appearance but not too much. Don’t smell better than we do. Don’t use mousse or gel. You shouldn’t look like you spend more time in front of the mirror than we do.

We’ll leave the long list to the girl who falls in love with you.

This is so true. LOVE IT!!

Back to School

2010-08-19T20:58:00.001-04:00

EMS classes started on Tuesday, and I'm LOVING them. I must admit that going back to college has been somewhat of culture shock. It's fun though and awesome for my sense of humor.

Something else I didn't expect was that my classes would be as physical as they are this early into things. I've known that EMS is a physical and demanding type of work but I had no idea that we would be already be training with stretchers, backboards, and mannequins. I will NOT let that stretcher get the best me. I don't care how sore my hamstrings, biceps, and triceps are. I'm SO thankful that Jesse dared me to that 5K and that I am into an exercise routine. I think I'm gonna need it.

Clayton and I are having to adjust to a new routine. I have to be up by 5:30 and gone from the house by 6:40/6:55(depending on the day). That's crazy early for us. I've always had to be at work at 9am or later so getting up this early is also a form of culture shock.

Because I got up at 5:30, then lifted the stretcher with 160lb mannequin about 1,000 times today, walked/ran 2 miles, and then hung out with my boys for a while I'm tired.

And to all a good night.

PS
Last week when I posted about Qing, the questions was asked about where I found the coupons that I uses. There are lots of places to get Q's but the 2 that I use the most are the Internet(and I don't get a whole lot from the web) and the Sunday paper. The trick to the Sunday paper is getting the absolute larges one available in your area. I buy the Charlotte Observer. And for those of ya'll that don't know where I live, Charlotte NC is 80 miles from where I live. Our local paper is a waste of time for Q's. If(and that's a big IF) they even have Q's it's NEVER more than one packet. And when I buy papers on Sunday(actually Chad does this while I wait in the car, SWEET!), I buy 3. I can stock up well enough for our family with 3 Q's for any particular item. I hope that helps.

Random Update

2010-08-16T08:44:00.000-04:00

Here's a list of what we accomplished/participated in this weekend. It was a marathon, but they all are.

Our youth dug up(I really don't know how else to say that) potatoes for a children's home in TN.
Helped clean the fellowship hall at church.
Cookout(the restaurant)
Put together a a cabinet for our new Backpack program at church(actually Chad and another guy(THANKS!!) did this while I did something else)
Unpacked all the backpacks(I'm so very excited about this program we're privileged to be a part of).
With Mom's help made the bulletin board for church.
Went to Blowing Rock with my brother and SIL.
Resisted the urge to buy a Coach bag.
Went to Makoto's for the first time. Loved it!
Held a red head for the entire dinner because he FREAKED OUT during the fire portion of the show. Seriously, he was so over it.
Resisted the urge to buy a Coach bag for the 2nd time in 1 day. It was difficult but somehow I managed.
Got really confused in the Van Heusen outlet. I buy most of Chad's clothes so men's clothes aren't a strange thing to me, but this store always stresses me out. I think I had hives when we left.
Walmart

Sunday

Church(I had to give a mini presentation about the Backpack program, a little less stressful than the Van Heusen store).
Held a sleeping boy all the way through service. SMILE!
Lunch
Worked on Backpack program again. Actually, Mom did the work and I just agree with her calculations. That's how we roll.
Caramel Frappe'
Youth(with some awesome white chocolate covered pretzels)
Nursery. We had the most amazing kids on Sunday night. They were so much fun. If nursery could only be that easy every time I was in there.
Cookout(again the restaurant)(It's new, can you tell?)
Walmart(again, GROWL)
Home
Bed

That's pretty much an average weekend for us. Most people look forward to Saturday, we look forward to Monday.

On another note, school(EMS classes, finally) start tomorrow. I'm excited. I have my backpack packed, lunch box ready, and pencils sharpened. I'm such a big nerd. There's a million things on my to-do list for today so I'm outta here. I wonder if I could talk Chad into a new outfit for school?

Jesse and Amy Teaser

2010-08-13T08:52:00.000-04:00

We went to a wedding at the beach. After the nuptials we pranced around the beach and I was able to take some pics of my favorite brother and my favorite brother's wife. I've been hanging on to these about 6 weeks before I've had time to play with them and edit them. But now they're finished. And now I have to work on the pics I took of Mom and Dad. I'm really slow at editing. I'm still learning. Anyway, J and A are the 2 most photogenic people I think I've ever known(except for Clayton of course). They always take a great picture. That makes my job really easy.

And my most favorite one of all. Love this next pic. It just highlights who they are.

Love you guys!

$38.70

2010-08-12T08:00:00.000-04:00

One night last week after one of the Bible Conference services I was talking with a couple of absolutely adorable ladies about how couponing works for our family. I told them our budget and what I spend every week and how I did it. After mulling it over I thought I would share with everyone how this Qing thing works.

My Budget:
$60/week
*That $60 includes our food, soda/pop(or whatever ya'll want to call it), diapers and wipes, tolietries, and cleaning supplies.

Yes I stick to this almost every single week. On the occasion that Harris Teeter(because they're the only store in my area that does this kind of thing) is having a Triple Coupon or Super Doubles event I will throw the budget out the window so that I can stock up on things at the lowest possible price. After all, a budget(which is a handy thing to have) is like the speed limit. It's more of a suggestion that a requirement. Don't tell our local law enforcement that I said that. And yes I do stick to the speed limit. Mostly. Moving on.

On a normal week I will only spend about 3-4 hours total clipping, searching, and shopping for the deals for my family. And I do this with a 2 year old red head asking "What's that?" about every single thing. I normally only go to 1 grocery store(BiLo doubles all the time) and 1 drug store(CVS is my personal fave because the day time cashier is really nice and easy to work with). I do check the sales papers that come in the mail just in case something awesome is on sale that I don't want to pass me by. And I do use a couple different of websites to help me with the sales and Q matchups. I use Southern Savers and Money Saving Mom. These are just the 2 that I like. I also rarely buy meat at full price. I buy chicken breast(and we don't eat a lot of chicken breast because Chad doesn't really care for it, we'll blame being raised on a poultry farm) only when I can get it for $4 or less a pack. And I normally buy the rest of the meat we eat once it has been marked down. I don't have a problem with that because I'm gonna throw it in the freezer as soon as I get home. But if you don't want to buy marked down meat then just watch the sales for the price that you would consider the best price for your budget. One last thing, I normally have a "go-to" price for items that I regularly buy. For example, $2.50 is the most I want to pay for laundry detergent, and $1 is the most I'll pay for any type of cleaner. Just know what you're willing to pay to determine if something is a good price or not. Stocking up at the best price is the best way to make sure that you don't run out of something and over pay for it.

Whew.......that was a lot.

3 Dt. Mtn Dew 2 Liters(a necessity because I was out)
Large Beef Roast
5 boxes of Chicken Helper
2 boxes of Eggo Waffles
3 jars Ragu SpaghettiSauce
2 Lysol Wipes
2 Lysol Toilet Bowl Cleaners
2 Lysol Liquid Cleaners
3 Seventh Generation Cleaners(different varieties)
3 Sun Laundry Detergents
2 Wishbone Dressings
1 HT brand Honey(for homemade granola....YUMMY!)
3 Kraft Homestyle Macaroni and Cheese
1 Bounty Towel
1 Peter Pan Peanut Butter
1 gallon of whole Milk

I paid $38.70 for everything in the picture. That's down from $98.96. If I would have paid $98.96 for the above products I probably would have had a mini-stroke in the check out line. But $38.70 seems reasonable.

You can do this. It really is worth the time and effort to save a little jingle.

:)

2010-08-11T08:01:00.000-04:00

2 John Deere Tractor Books
1 large stuffed cow
1 stuffed purple lion(I don't think you can see it in this picture)
1 Superman Monster Truck
1 Mack Truck
1 John Deere wanna be tractor with farmer(that looks more like a jockey instead)
1 broken silver monster truck(we still have both pieces because he plays with each piece independently)
1 Tonka truck

And 1 sleepy boy with a head cold(the reason for all that drool) that decided turn around backwards in the bed.

And my helper. She loves this boy. I think she would sleep in the bed with him if we would let her. But as you can see I don't hink there's room left for anything else. Soon, whenever we find one I like, he's going to graduate to a twin/bunk bed. Maybe then Emma can have the desires of her heart and sleep in the bed with her boy.

(I tried to do a lot of different edits to these pics but somehow the pics seem to lose their integrity. That's why they might look kinda sloppy. And I was taking pictures in the dark with only the light from the hallway.)

A Funny Thing Happened.............

2010-08-10T08:45:00.000-04:00

...........on the way to my life.

Chad and I were talking on Saturday about how differently our lives have turned out from what we imagined they would be when we were children/teenagers.

I remember wanting to have a great education and a successful career doing something fantastic by the time I was 30. And I remember that once when we were dating he told me that his big plans for life were to be a husband and a father. He wanted a working farm with a wife and children.

We are so far from that "dream" that it makes me laugh. But we have so much more than we ever dreamed.

Granted I'm just now seriously pursuing a fantastic education. And eventually I'll be doing something fantastic. And Chad has finished(almost) his fantastic education. We don't have a farm(and I for one am thankful for that) and we only have one child here with us. We wouldn't have thought that we would have had to send a daughter to heaven before us.

But we're content with where we are. We're excited with what God has given us and the things He's doing for our family.

"For I know the thoughts I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." Jeremiah 29:11

(and really what's not to love)

What is the Gospel?

2010-08-09T09:19:00.000-04:00

I always hesitate to recommend a book that I have read or am currently reading. I have a variety of different reasons for this. Others may not like what I read. Or someone may get an incorrect perception of who I am or what I believe because of something I'm reading. But I'll shoot this out here. I can and do read almost any type of book. I can read after anyone and take the parts that I like and leave the parts that I don't. Eat the corn and throw away the cob, so to speak.

All of that rambled mess to say this. I'm currently reading "What is the Gospel?" by Greg Gilbert. It's one part of the 9Marks series. I'm about half way through it and I love it. It was a free digital download at Amazon. And Chad received it as part of his loot when he went to T4G back in April. I rarely, if ever, venture into his world of preacher books because I'm afraid they will be over my head. And a lot of times they are. But I decided to give this one a try(possibly, probably because it was free).

The basic theme of the book is that we as Christians(myself included) often get the message of the Gospel wrong. We always portray God as a god of love, and He is, but never as a god of justice and wrath, which He is. I know this is getting lengthy but the following is an excerpt from the beginning of Chapter 2.

"Let me introduce you to god. (Note the lowercase G.)

You might want to lower your voice a little before we go in. He might be sleeping now. He's old, you know, and doesn't much understand or like this "newfangled" modern world. His golden days-the ones he talks about when you really get him going-were a long time ago, before most of us were even born. That was back when people cared what he thought about things, and considered him pretty important to their lives.

Of course all that's changed now, though, and god-poor fellow-just never adjusted very well. Life's moved on and passed him by. Now, he spends most of his time just hanging in the garden out back. I go there sometimes to see him, and there we tarry, walking and talking softly and tenderly among the roses....

Anyway, a lot pf people still like him, it seems-or at least he manages to keep his poll numbers prteey high. And you'd be surprised how many people even drop by to visit and ask for things every once in a while. But of course that's alright with him. He's here to help.

Thank goodness, all the crankiness you read about sometimes in his old books-you know, having the earth swallow people up, raining fire down on cities, that sort of thing-all that seems to have faded in his old age. How he's just a good-natured, low-maintenance friend who'll really easy to talk to-especially since he almost never talks back, and when he does, it's usually to tell me through some slightly weird "sign" that what I want to do regardless is alright by him. That really is the best kind of friend, isn't it?

You know the best thing about him, though? He doesn't judge me. Ever, for anything. Oh sure, I know that deep down he wishes I'd be better-more loving, less selfish, and all that-but he's realistic. He knows I'm human and nobody's perfect. And I'm totally sure he's fine with that. Besides, forgiving people is his job. It's what he does. After all, he's love, right? and I like to think of love as "never judging, only forgiving." That's the god I know. And I wouldn't have him any other way.

Alright, hold on a second....Okay, we can go in now. And don't worry, we don't have to stay long. Really. He's grateful for any time he can get."

That might seem far fetched when you read it. But I'm afraid that it's really not that far out of perspective anymore. While this is comical in some respects, it's also heartbreaking. Chad and I have had this conversation so many times that I don't have enough fingers to count that high. And I have had to repent(many times) of my incorrect perspective of God. In our part of the world(Bible Belt), almost everyone, when you ask them, will tell you they know who God is. But, I'm afraid that a lot of us(myself included) have it wrong. And again I have to repent.

I'm interested to see how this book finishes up. I'll probably finish it today while I'm at the gym.

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believeth on Him, should not perish but have everlasting life. For God sent not His son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. He that believeth on him is not condemned; but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God."

John 3:16-18

MIA

2010-08-03T23:49:00.000-04:00

I've been absent and for that apologize. This week is our our church's annual Bible Conference. That means church services in the am and pm. With meals thrown in for good measure. It's a fantastic week. And for me personally, it couldn't have come at a better time. I'm lovin' it.'

See ya next week when life won't slow down, it will just be something different.

Free and Easy

2010-07-31T08:00:00.001-04:00

What do you do when your plans change and your day is suddenly free and easy? Why you go to the park and play on the playground and in the water.

This child takes his play very seriously.

And this sign. I know this isn't the intended meaning, but when I saw this all I saw was "Welcome Hags". And I had a great little laugh.

Update(Bullet Style)

2010-07-30T08:53:00.000-04:00

Currently we're watching the movie "Cars" for the 5th time this week. This is Clayton's newest obsession. Chad and I let him watch something of his choosing first thing in the morning and then the TV's off for most of the day. I'm not a TVaholic(like my husband) so I don't need the TV on all day. I would much rather have my nose in a book. That I could do all day long.
I finished the summer semester yesterday. Anatomy is all finished. It was difficult but I survived and was pleased how the semester ended.
EMS classes start in just over 2 weeks. I'm even more excited about that.
Clayton's Tram got him a "Mack"(from Cars) this week. It was the sweetest thing to see how patient he was for this toy. Anyway he's carried it around all week. Too cute.
The youth boys that we work with are going camping tonight. The girls are not. This girl doesn't prefer to camp. Instead we're going to shopping tomorrow. Way more awesome than camping.

That's about it. Enjoy your weekend.

New Claytonisms

2010-07-27T08:32:00.000-04:00

Hook It = Anything that should be, or already is attached to a trailer(Clayton's most favorite thing in the world)
Thanks = It's really cute, and he says it all the time, even when he should be saying You're Welcome
Welc = On the occasion that he does remember to say You're Welcome this is how it comes out
Hoink = That's the sound a pig makes. Not oink, but hoink.
Jommies = Pajamas
Clip Clop = Flip flops
Choc Milk = Chocolate Milk, even though he can say chocolate
Cow Tractor = On the movie Cars(which is his new favorite) there is a scene when Lightning and Mater go cow tipping and the cows are tractors. He really likes that part of the movie and will just giggle. Too cute.
That's Tool = That's Cool, usually directed at something of a vehicular nature
Finny = Finished
Trayon = Crayon
Canny = Candy

Also on a daily basis we hear the non cute things. No, don't like it, take it off. And about 12,436 times a day I hear "Det down Emma". And then 12,437 times a day I hear "Emma tome here. That kid is something else.

9 Months

2010-07-26T08:55:00.000-04:00

This past Friday was Johanna's 9 month BDay. I'm amazed at how long that seems and how short it really it. I don't really have any words of wisdom except to say that I miss her. And to be completely honest, I wish she were still here with us. I understand all of the spiritual and eternal things associated with Johanna, but I'm still her Mom. And I'm still jealous and selfish over her. With all of that aside, I know how fortunate we are to have been able to spend around an hour with her.

And bonus points for the hubs. When I came home from the gym on Friday, he had a dozen pink and white roses waiting for me. He's a keeper.

Crazy Blogger

2010-07-23T10:37:00.001-04:00

Blogger had been somewhat screwy this week. Posts have been difficult to get up and they've disappeared after I get them up. Sorry about any confusion. Maybe I should look into Wordpress. I hear that it's less buggy. We'll see.

I'm doing this one from my Blackberry so we'll see what happens.

I have a lack of blogging inspiration lately. Hence the reason for the slackness. Hopefully soon I'll be inspired by some greatness and I'll be able to amaze ya'll with brilliance.

Until then have a great weekend.

So..........uhm..........Sure

2010-07-19T07:55:00.000-04:00

I decided to go for it. The training officially starts today. I found my favorited exercise pants over the weekend. I've been looking for these for like 2 months and they were right under my nose at Mom's house. I found some running shoes for my feet(obviously). And in a few hours I'm off to the gym before school. It's gonna be great(I think). If it's not great it's all Jesse's fault.

Have a great Monday ya'll.

Maybe??

2010-07-15T22:06:00.000-04:00

So today in my car my brother(whom I love very dearly and can make me giggle like absolutely no one else) dared me to do something. Nothing strange like "Truth of Dare", but more on that at the end of the post. Anyway he tells me that he wants to do a Triathalon and wants to know if I'll join him. I told him NO and he of course wanted to know why and I told him. First I would have to swim which I'm not that great at mainly because it involves getting my face wet and that makes me panic something awful. And second I would have to ride a bike which I can kinda sorta do. I couldn't ride a bike until I was 8 and I never really liked it once I learned the basics. Don't laugh at me I'm not a coordinated person and that whole pedal and balance thing threw me for a loop.

So in a half joking way I said we should do a 5K next spring(our town has an annual run every May). And in a completely serious way he said OK. And I'm pretty sure I know when he's serious and when he's not. And he was serious today.

Here are the problems with the scenario above. I don't really exercise all that regularly and Jesse is at the gym 5-6 days a week. Some days he's there at 5:30am. And something about that just makes me want to strangle him. Disgusting. And I don't have running shoes.

Should I do it?

I confess I'm a little scared to even attempt something like this. I'm way out of shape after having 2 babies in 22 months. But I think that if I commit to doing it Jesse(and ya'll now that you know) will keep me committed and on track. And we can train(hehehehe that sounds so funny) together. So what's the verdict? Yay or Nay?

And back to "Truth or Dare". While I was typing that I was reminded of things that make me think of Jr. High School. And I thought of something I wanted really bad then but never got(tear). And in all truthfulness I didn't need it, it was just a pile of junk, and a total waste of money. Anyway there was this board game called "Mall Madness". I really wanted it. It came with money and a credit card and it talked to you and everything. It was all a 12 year old girl could ever dream of(my dreams were small in those days). After I thought about it tonight I had to Google it and take a look. Does anybody else remember this game?

Don't you just love the vests, bangs, and sideways pony tails. Too cool for words.

The Vows I Should Have Said!

2010-07-13T21:42:00.000-04:00

Traditional Wedding Vows:
I, take you, to be mine, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

What I should have said:

I promise to sleep in the middle of the bed. I promise to let my hair collect in the drain for you to have to rip apart and use that snake thingy. I promise to attempt to make dinner at least once a week......month. I promise that the dog will only sleep in the bed when you're out of town, and then I won't tell you about it. I promise to slowly and systematically rid your wardrobe of western attire, including but not limited to, Wrangles jeans in the "Rodeo Cut". I promise to accept your strange fascination with 1950's and 1960's New York Yankees. I promise to be as big of an Alabama Crimson Tide fan as you are. I promise to never let our house run out of Dt. SunDrop and pickles. I promise to never attempt to mow the grass or use the weed eater.

The things you have no idea about when you say "I Do" are so exciting.

Names in the Sand

2010-07-10T12:29:00.000-04:00

So I've wanted to have this done forever. But for one reason or another I keep missing out on the opportunity. So I took matters into my own hands and with the help of Mom and Amy we did them ourselves.

And for the record this is way more difficult than you would think. But it's done. Hopefully these will be on our bedroom wall very soon.

Some Beach Pics

2010-07-08T08:00:00.000-04:00

Just a few(or a lot depending on which way you want to look at it).

I like to pretend that I'm a fantastic photographer. And I'm really not. Everything I have learned my Dad has taught me. I have a lot more lessons to go but I love pictures and the timeless qualities that they bring.

On the train at Broadway at the Beach. Yes it's supposed to be tilted. I follow a photographer on FB that does this and I love the feel of the tilted picture.

Stolen moments when no on knows you're watching are the best picture opportunities.

The Fam.

Tilted again. I don't know why I love this pic but I do. It's just interesting to me.

A little boy trying so hard to be a grown man.

Swoon!

I have so many more that I could share.

And I probably will tomorrow.

Wowza

2010-07-07T08:52:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the lengthy abscence. If anyone noticed at all. We went to the beach for a wedding, which was beautiful. Stayed for a vacay, which was wonderful. And now we're home. I have oodles of pictures for ya'll but that will have to wait a while.

And this is why:

My wireless router is on the fritz(this is a serious issue). I've had problems with it for a while. I believe it has now died the death of so many electronics before it. Lightning.
My washing machine is currently laying on its side in the laundry/computer room. I have noticed water around the bottom of the machine for about a week now and it got really bad yesterday. Fortunately Chad thinks he can fix it for very little money. I really hope so.
Unfortunately Chad came home from work this morning(he goes in at 3am) sick, sick, sick. We've all had a head cold of sorts and we think this is just another product of excess mucous production(now you feel all scientific and disgusted all at the same time).

No washing machine fixing today. Hopefully he'll be on the mend by church time tonight. That's a day in our life. You never know what's gonna happen.

Independence Day

2010-07-04T08:23:00.000-04:00

Enjoy your independence.

Remember why you were given independence.

Know how to gain true dependence on your Savior.

Playin' in the "Dirt-Sand"

2010-06-30T13:57:00.000-04:00

This is what my little boy is doing this week. I'm so jealous. I can't wait to get to him in the wee hours of Friday morning.

To Love Their Husbands Tuesday

2010-06-29T09:25:00.000-04:00

Once again I'm linking up with Lauren at Living by Faith for "To Love Their Husbands Tuesday"(but I guess you could tell that by the title).

Here's how I helped the hubs this week.

We had VBS last week. Chad is the principal / director(I can't remember what the official title is) and I guess that makes me his personal assistane. I didnt' know that was in the job description when we said "I do". Anyway I love VBS and like to go all out for the week. So to help him make this VBS fantastic I did all of the computer work so we could utilize the screen at our church. Chad is most definitely not a fan of the computer. And I'm addicted to my lappy. I worked up all the computer stuff, filled out the certificates, and washed his special VBS t-shirt every day so it wouldn't be all stinky by Friday.
You can take the boy out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the boy. That describes my husband to a tee. He loves all things western. So I'm currently watching "The Man From Snowy River" while I do the stuff that needs doing around the house. This is one of Chad's all time faves and I've never watched it because it's not really my thing. And when I do sit down to watch it with him I apparently ask too many questions and irritate him.

That's what I've done and am doing to love the hubs. There's one more thing but I'll share it later in the week.

Small Town USA

2010-06-28T23:46:00.000-04:00

Disclaimer: Let it be known that I do not normally use the camera while I drive. I believe it to be unsafe and in the general disinterest of everyone around me and any vehicle that I happen to be operating. And texting is bad while you drive too. With that being said, I did make an exception just this one time one day last week. I know it's not smart but it was in the interest of humor. Please don't report me. And I did wait until no other cars were around me before I snapped the infamous pics.

Now that we have all of the formalities out of the way I can tell my story. We live in Small Town USA. It's fun here. And it's often funny here too. Example: This week is the annual "Red, White, and Bluegrass Festival". Note the play on words. Only in Small Town USA.

I saw this.........

while driving last week.

A better view for you.

It is not abnormal to follow a tractor down the road in our county. Especially during hay season. Which it is. I only know this because the hubs loves hay. I don't know why but he does. I digress. I saw this particular farm implement DOWN TOWN! I know you can't tell from these pictures that this is in the heart of our little town but it is. These pics kinda look like a rural road but it really is in town.

Good times!

2010-06-27T08:03:00.000-04:00

It's Sunday. Church Day. And we're getting ready to head out the door and start our day. I just wanted to share a picture or two of Clayton at VBS last week. My child loves anything with wheels. He especially loves trucks and trailers. On Friday evening 2 firetrucks and a rescue truck came to the church so the kids could crawl all over them. Clayton certainly enjoyed himself.

Enjoy your Sunday.

Bless the LORD, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name. Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits: Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies; Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle's.

Psalm 103:1-5

Summer Lovin'

2010-06-22T08:51:00.000-04:00

It's finally summer time here in NC. It's felt like summer for months now but the calendar officially says it's summer. I personally love it. I like the hot weather. Most people would disagree with me but that's OK too.

And with the summer season comes one of my favorite things. Vacation Bible School. VBS is one of my favorite things ever. That's what we're into this week. I'll probaby be MIA for most of the week.

Enjoy your summer. It's a great excuse for a Route 44 Dt. Coke from Sonic.

Unconsumed

2010-06-18T23:37:00.000-04:00

It's late and I really should be getting in the bed. As usual we have a busy Saturday and Sunday. I just wanted to mention one thing.

Today I picked up the book "I Will Carry You" by Angie Smith. She is the author of the blog Bring The Rain. I really should be studying the various bones in the body but I just could not bring myself to do this today. I had to start this book. I've wanted to read it for a while now. And knowing me I will probably have it finished by the end of the weekend. I can do without the sleep for a few days. It's a soothing balm to be reminded(because it's easy for Satan(and our human minds) to let us believe that we are on this journey completely alone) that God has chosen others to walk a similar journey to ours. Why He has chosen any one of us I have no idea. But He did.

My point to this is to say that I regularly wonder(worry maybe) that my daughter will be forgotten as the months and years pass. Chad tells me I imagine things(and he's probably way more right than I would care to admit) and that the things that I perceive around me are not really as they seem. He really is quite handy to have around. Reassuring words from those around me are wonderful and very kind and thoughtful. But they can not completely ease the Mommy part of my heart.

I don't say these things to illicit kind or reassuring words from ya'll. I say them to be honest and transparent. And so that I can share with you the peace and reassurance that God has given me once again this evening. His timing is so amazing. I don't know why I ever doubt His sovereignty(and yet I do over and over).

I read this tonight........

"But now thus saith the LORD that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. For I am the LORD thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Saviour: I gave Egypt for thy ransom, Ethiopia and Seba for thee. Since thou wast precious in my sight, thou hast been honourable, and I have loved thee: therefore will I give men for thee, and people for thy life. Fear not: for I am with thee:" Isaiah 43:1-5

He redeemed me. He called me The waters will not overflow me. The fires will not burn me. Why? Because He is God. Because I am precious in His sight. Because He's with me.

And these words completely reassure and calm my heart.

Will I need new words tomorrow? Absolutely. Will God give me those words? Absolutely.

What do you think.............

2010-06-14T12:27:00.000-04:00

..............I paid for all of this?

I don't even know if you can see everything that's in there.

CVS
6 Renuzit Air Freshner thingies
1 Schick Super Powerful Awesome(that's the official name) Razor(Free after Q's and ECB and I think there's a rebate floating around for it too)
1 Huggies Diaper

Harris Teeter
3 Gillette Clinical Strength Deo's(this is Chad's new fave so I stocked up)
Neutrogena Men's Face Cleanser(I found this on the clearance rack and got it for $1.16)
Kraft Salad Dressing(.50 cents)
Meuller's Spaghette(FREE)
Lettuce
Country Crock Butter (.60 cents)
2 Oscar Meyer Beef HotDogs(they aren't Ball Park but they were at a great price so I improvised)
1 pack marked down Angus Chuch Steak(this will become our favorite Mexican dish for dinner tonight)
1 pack marked down Chicken Thighs

Aldi
Yellow Squash
Zucchini
Broccoli
Cauliflower
Yellow Pepepr
Red Pepper
Orange Pepper
10 Jalapenos
2 packs Colby Cheese
1 pack Monterey Jack Cheese

I paid..............

Drumroll Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

$41.71

I could have had a few more things but some of the best deals at my local CVS were already gone. I think I'll hit up another one after class today and see of they have the products I couldn't get in MoTown.

A word to the wise(or at least those of us that wish to maintain a little bit of our integrity). Play by the coupon rules. I saw a fellow couponer called on the carpet this morning for trying to use multiple CVS cards in different names to get the same deals over and over. She wasn't bright enough to get away with it because she tried to use the different cards in different names on the same cashier(who happened to be the store manager). They wouldn't sell her any products on the additional cards she was trying to use and then asked her to leave the store. She was very rude and became beligerent with the CVS staff. Stuff like this makes us all look like morons. I am all about getting the absolute very best deal for my money and work very hard to do so. And I feel the store should honor the deals/promotions they are advertising(sometimes a specific store or store manager doesn't like to cooperate). But when the system is taken advantage of by some the whole thing gets ruined for the rest of us. So if you coupon play by the rules.

Happy Savings!

Friday......I'm in Love

2010-06-11T18:45:00.000-04:00

So I was told today that there are a very select few of you that log on mainly to see pictures of Clayton. And from that I gathered that I don't post nearly enough pictures of Clayton for the taste of some of ya'll. I have now seen the error of my ways and will attempt to do better in the future.

So for the two of you that wanted to see more Clayton, here you go.

I deemed this Clayton's "Michael Jackson" look. It's the glove.

I'm guessing the gloved look kinda gets old(and I don't know why Clayton and Emma have taken all the pillows off of the couch. Wonders never cease.)

Yeah that glove has got to go!

I have no idea where he found the inspiration for this outfit. But he came prancing out of his room like this last Friday. If he pops out with a red leather coat I'm running away.

We took him to see his first movie this afternoon. He saw Shrek 4 on the "big TV" and loved it. He did great. He sat very still and watched the entire movie without a peep. We shall have to do that again.

Wonderful Wednesday

2010-06-09T11:13:00.000-04:00

To Love Their Husbands Tuesday

2010-06-08T09:31:00.000-04:00

I think I'll link up with Lauren again this week for "To Love Their Husbands Tuesday". Why? Because it's hard. And I have an easy person to love. At least in my opinion anyway, some peeps think Chad is kind of hard to love. They can be wrong if they want. So how have I love my husband this week?

He mowed grass in 95 degree weather. I randomly took him a bottle of water.
Chad doesn't really like chicken all that much. I think the years growing up on a commercial poultry farm kinda did him in as far as chicken is concerned. I try not to fix it a lot because he doesn't care for it. But when I do fix it I cut it into the tiniest imaginable pieces. Pieces the size of my fingernails. Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup sized pieces. Tiny! It takes forever but that's what he prefers. Why would I not want to accommodate him in this area?
I've learned to love cabbage because he loves it so much. I didn't not like it at all a few years ago but I started experimenting with a few different ways to cook it and I've since became a major fan. So I can add that to the list of things that I can cook and know he will be very happy with. Now greens, pickled beets, and boiled eggs are another subject completely. I just can't do it.

I've not done much this past week to show him that I love him. In fact I don't feel like I do much any week to show him that I love him. But I try. And in any marriage 1+1=1. Since we are 1 I need to make more of an effort to act like it.

Now Chad is getting ready to show me how much he loves me and go to the DA's office and attempt to get a "violation" that I received taken care of. And he clipped my coupons for me yesterday. YAY!!

Little League

2010-06-05T16:59:00.000-04:00

This morning Chad, Clayton, and I went to Zach's baseball game. Zach is the nephew of my BIL(Andrew) and SIL(Trish). They are raising Zach as their own son and doing an amazing job if I do say so myself. He's thriving with them. All 3 of us just adore Zach(especially Clayton).

The game went well. His team lost but I'm not 100 percent sure that they even keep score. Zach hit an RBI and made a great stop at his position.

Clayton ran and climbed the fence.

And attempted to lick his nose clean like a cow. Nice!

Chad our sherpa.

And we finished off our morning with a little celebratory Mexican food. I don't know what we were celebrating but the food was great.

As was the chocolate milk.

Bath Time!

2010-06-04T16:57:00.000-04:00

Bath time is Clayton's absolute favorite time of the day.

(For the record I don't normally let him stand or jump in the bathtub. Just this once it was too cute)

Catching Up

2010-06-03T20:45:00.000-04:00

I have oodles to catch up on. Here goes:

School is still going well. Actually I'm loving it. I'm a big nerd though. I'm one of those people that likes to study.
I had a BDay on Tuesday. I'll proudly claim that I'm 28. It seems like a perfect age. Actually I've felt that way for the last 5 years or so. I don't mind getting older, it's just part of life. It's also a great excuse for new Coach bags.
We now have a porch swing. It's absolutely wonderful. I love southern summers and what better way to enjoy them than from the comfort of a beautifully stained(black if you must know) wooden swing.
We're going to dinner with Jesse(my brother) and Amy(SIL) tomorrow evening. That's always a lot of fun. Somehow we will manage to confuse the wait staff and be entirely too loud. I'm not sure how this always happens but it does.
Our family has expanded by the quantity of 2. That's right we have 2 new goldfish. Clayton was given a fishbowl by his Tram. And you can't have a fishbowl without fish. So we loaded up the bowl with goldfish. Clayton wanted to name them "Truck" and "Trailer". We haven't decided just yet.
A wonderful benefactor gave me a wonderful surprise today. I'm so very excited. I've used it all evening. (How was that for vague!). Thank you!

It's been a great week.

So I have a question for ya'll. Where does the blog go from here? I know most of my readers out there in cyberland happened upon the blog when we first found about Johanna and Trisomy 18. And for the better part of a year the blog has been centered around her story. But I'm starting to feel a shift in the direction of topics on the blog. I guess I'm basically asking do ya'll like reading random crazy things about other people's lives like I do? Just wondering.

Remembering.........

2010-05-31T14:37:00.000-04:00

Revolutionary Way(obviously a reenactment)

Civil War (again a reenactment)

World War 1

World War 2

Korean War

(This picture is especially humbling)

Vietnam War

Persian Gulf War

Operation Enduring Freedom

Operation Iraqi Freedom

Arlington National Cemetery

.....and the reason for all of this?

A Big 'Ole Woot!!

2010-05-26T14:41:00.000-04:00

Just popping to let ya'll know that I just received OFFICIAL WRITTEN verification that I have been accepted into the EMS/Paramedic program that starts in August. It's been kind of a muddled acceptance until 2pm today when the USPS brought the mail to our house.

I'm obviously very excited and anxious all at the same time.

This is something I've wanted to pursue for a very long time but never thought I would have the opportunity. But through God's amazing providence I have been given that opportunity. I can honestly say that all the doors have been opened by Him. Had He not pushed me out the office door in January I would still be living my old life.

But instead He's letting me do something amazing.

Kinda Sporadic

2010-05-25T09:26:00.000-04:00

I know the posting has been a little sporadic in the last week or so. And I hate to tell you(although you may like to here) that the posting will be sporadic for the next week or so.

The Anatomy class I have this summer has started. I really want to do well in this class so I'm trying to spend a good bit of time studying.
We were on vacay last week which was absolutely wonderful. But as always when you go on a little holiday there's a little catch up work to do once you get home.
Also we have revival at our church this week.

Those are my reasons for sporadicness(I'm sure that's a word I made up).

Williamsburg

2010-05-21T07:44:00.001-04:00

Currently we're on a vacay/graduation gift for Chad and Jesse from our parents. We're cooling our Revolutionary heels in Williamsburg, VA. And we're loving it. It's an awesome place to visit.

In front of the Governor's Palace.

George Washington(circa 1774) discussing taxation and representation. This was very fascinating. It was pre-Revolutionary War and it was interactive. GW seriously took questions from the audience and answered them very well. It was very informative.

The British Flag as it was in 1774. Remember that at this point all the colonies were still under the rule of the crown. And most colonies were very proud to be considered British. For a while at least.

And one for the grandparents so that I don't get in trouble. This cookie was absolutely huge and he ate all of it. All while sporting the latest in Revolutionary head fashion.

Manic Monday

2010-05-17T22:27:00.000-04:00

My days of leisure have come to an end. But since I have a 2 year old I don't think I've had a day of leisure in 2 years(not that I would change any part of it). What I mean is that I started summer classes today. I only have one class this summer. I think that's enough to ease me back in to the whole schedule thing I used to know as normal life.

This summer I'm taking Anatomy and Physiology. And I'm that weird kid in the class that really likes it. Today I was the nerd that was mumbling the answers to the rhetorical questions our professor was asking. The poor gentleman that unwisely chose to sit beside me seemed impressed. Or he could have just been afraid of me. Either way I don't think he'll be giving me much flack this summer. In all seriousness A&P is supposed to be a very difficult course so I'm gonna buckle in and learn where my body parts are and what they do.

Tomorrow evening after class we are heading out of town for a few days. We're going to Williamsburg, VA as a graduation present for Chad and Jesse, from our(Jesse and me) parents for finally completing seminary. Chad and Jesse are both history buffs so they're incredibly excited to go to one of the oldest and foremost cities of the American Revolution.

I might post and I might not. We'll see what the week allows.

A Few Edits

2010-05-16T23:35:00.000-04:00

So I discovered the power of editing pictures. I have a simple Canon point and click camera. But it's amazing what a little cropping and color adjusting can do. I just wanted to share a few picks from the last few years that I've played with this evening.

Jamie's Senior Prom

April 2009

Clayton

August 2008

Jesse and Amy, Chad and Me

June 2007

(7 weeks pregnant with Clayton)

(This is before a wedding, before an Insulin pump, and before 2 babies. And also before life had hard days. It's only been 3 years since this photo but our lives have changed so much. I remember these people. But I'm thankful for the changes the past 3 years have brought us. The 4 of us have laughed and cried together many times since this picture. Love you guys! I look forward to many more pictures with ya'll.)

Johanna and her infamous pink bow!!

10/23/2009

I'm hooked!!!! I love the depth a little editing can give any particular picture.

Mother's Walk 2010!!!

2010-05-16T07:48:00.000-04:00

It's been a great day. Chad, Clayton, and I attended the annual Right to Life Mother's walk in Caldwell County. Enjoy some pics from our day. I'm trying to self teach myself to edit the pics I take so I've had a lot of fun cropping and messing with these. I don't know how to change lighting and that kind of thing just yet. But I love the black and white with a splash of color.

Friday......I'm in Love

2010-05-14T16:03:00.000-04:00

Summer weather. It's finally hot here in the south and I couldn't be happier. I absolutely love warm weather.
The Maxi Dress. It's long and loose. What's not to love?
Little red heads in short pants that are made like big boy pants. Pockets that take up the entire side of the leg. Too cute.
Telling our story to the group that I did last night. I really enjoyed that opportunity. I had fun and told our story as honestly as I knew how to.
A Right to Life walk tomorrow morning. Very excited. We went last year just a few days after we learned about Jo's Trisomy 18. This kind of event has a new meaning to our family. We're hoping that our story can provide hope and value for life.
Strawberries are in season here in NC. Nothing could be finer.

Enjoy your weekend. It's gonna be a great one.

Trisomy 18 and Pink Bows

2010-05-13T10:21:00.000-04:00

Tonight I have the opportunity(privilege might be stretching it a bit for the sake of the listeners) to speak to a group of medical professionals in our area about genetics. Specifically about Trisomy 18 and more specifically about Johanna. Woot for letting a Mommy talk about her babies.

I must admit that for a variety of reasons I'm a little confused(humbled maybe?) that I would be asked to do this. I am not a physician or a geneticist. Everything that I've learned about genetics, chromosomes, and trisomies I have learned from Google and reading.

But being asked to speak in the capacity that I've been asked to speak will give me an opportunity to tell a secular group of medical professionals about our faith and how God has worked in our lives. I'm excited for that reason alone. A year ago I would have never dreamed that I would be getting the opportunity to share my faith with a room full of people that I don't know at all. And somehow that seems a lot less intimidating than sharing my faith with any one of them one on one. Yes I know it's strange and I have issues.

I'm finishing up the PowerPoint(it's really pretty in pink and gray), deciding on an outfit that looks professional while still being myself and is infused with a lot of pink(that's a must when I talk about my girl). If you think of me lift me up to the Father this evening.

UGH!?!?!?!?!?!?!

2010-05-12T00:01:00.000-04:00

I have a rant that I just really need to get off of my chest before my blood pressure reaches maximum capacity.

Why do we(and yes I mean myself too) as Christians often feel like we need to take over the role of the Holy Spirit? He doesn't need my help for anything.

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace,

and not of evil, to give you an expected end."

Jeremiah 29:11

God has the plan. He is the plan. He's also the beginning, the middle, and the end of the plan. Burying my daughter wasn't on my plan but it was on HIS plan. Therefore it brings me to HIS expected end. All those things that God plans for me, even though I may not like them, also bring me to HIS expected end. It may not take me down the road I expected to go but it brings me to HIS expected end.

This is simply something I have observed a lot of in the last 13 months. And tonight I read something that just lit that fuse all over again.

So for this moment I, or more accurately God through conviction, am attempting to remove my "Holy Spirit in Training" button. He doesn't need me. I need HIM!

Recap

2010-05-10T15:18:00.000-04:00

I know, I know, I know. I'm incredibly far behind. Let's do a bullet style recap.

Saturday May 1st: I was privileged to have 2 seperate speaking engagements at 2 different Ladies Banquets. Mom and my SIL Amy went with me to offer moral support and more than a few laughs. There was an incident with a McDonald's drive through window that was simply hilarious.
Tuesday May 4th: This is kinda lame I know but I had a blast. I went to a MaryKay party with my other 2 SILs. I've never been to a MaryKay party so I was impressed by the entire event. I had fun, spent way too much money on eye shadow, and laughed at my SILs and myself.
Wednesday May 5th: Somehow in the span of 3 hours we managed to have Johanna t-shirts made for our family for a right for life walk we'll be going to this coming Saturday. They're cute and I can't wait to get them back.
Thursday May 6th: Mom and I picked up a lot of the food for our churches Ladies Banquet on Friday. We literally purchased enough salad to require one of Sams' flat bed carts to get to the car. It was insanely hilarious. Thursday evening Chad and I had a working date night. One of the guys in our youth group was in his High School's spring drama production of the adaptaion of "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" entitled "Big River". It was simply amazing. This HS recently won first place in the NC acting competition. They are going to the national competition in Nebraska in June. They really did earn first place. They are an amazing group of young adults.
Friday May 7th: Our annual Ladies Banquet was Friday evening. We had about 170 ladies in attendance. Our theme was God's Princess and it was really cool to reflect on the royalty that we have in Christ.
Saturday May 8th: I went shopping with my friend. Had fun, ate a wonderful lunch, and bought a maxi dress that I LOVE!!! Chad's day was most definitely more interesting than mine. As I mentioned our SIL was thrown from her horse and sustained multiple injuries that required surgery. Chad was the closest family member and he could get to her more quickly than her husband and the EMS. The hubs is incredibly calm(he lacks the panic gene like I do) so he was the perfect person to wait with Trish and help her to remain calm. Clayton was with his Daddy so he went too and talked to Trish(or "Tree" as he calls her) while they waited and the EMS. And since then Clayton has been telling everybody "Tree got hurt" but "Doctor fix her". It's sweet. Trish is doing well considering her injuries. Please continue to pray for her and her husband. She has a long recovery road ahead of her but she's more than capable of doing this. Saturday evening Chad was once again summoned to help his family with a health issue with his mother. She too had to go to the hospital but was quickly treated and sent home to rest. Please also pray for Chad's parents in these days. It was definitely an interesting day for the hubs.
Sunday May 9th: Mother's Day. It really was a wonderful day. We spent a part of the day running errands for the infirmed but we giggled and had fun doing it. We checked out a fantastic new Greek/Italian restaurant. I had baklava for dessert. I LOVE baklava and nobody ever makes it in our little small town so I was very excited to see that on the menu. My boys gave me a Massage/Manicure/Pedicure for Mother's Day. They know me so very well. The day was definitely bitter sweet at best. I'm grateful and honored to be a mother. But spending the day without one of my children was definitely difficult. But we did it. And Chad made the day fun.

That's been our week in shortened form. It's been crazy with no signs of letting up soon.

2010-05-08T18:03:00.000-04:00

Just stopping in to quickly ask for your help. One of my SIL's, Trish, was thrown from her horse earlier today. She has a broken wrist and a broken ankle. Currently she is in the OR having her injuries repaired. There will of course be a lengthy recovery for both injuries. Trish is a precious friend with a heart the size of Texas. Please remember her and her husband Andrew in your prayers. They also have a "son"(one day this boy will be completely ours and I can't wait) Zach that is 6 years old. As always there are many needs associated with an unexpected injury such as this.

Thanks peeps!!

Baby Names

2010-05-07T12:09:00.000-04:00

I decided this weeks Show Us Your Life was too good not to get it on. I love names and what they mean and signify. I do however like names to be names and sound like names. I personally don't prefer people to be named after places, adjectives, or adverbs. It's just a personal preference that's all. I also like to use family names, names that will still be appropriate as adults(because I think a lot of people name their babies names that are cute for babies but they kinda grow out of them), and names that are easy to spell. I shouldn't have to tell his pediatricians office how to spell his name every time I call.

Clayton Avery

Clayton is my paternal grandmother's maiden name. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this name for a boy. It felt like a name that he could really grow in to and not out of. It's not hip or contemporary. In fact I think the last time that the name Clayton was in the top 10 of baby names was some time in the 19th century(seriously). We emphasize the "t". Yes we do live in the south so a lot of times the "t" is not even pronounced and that's OK. But that's the only reason his name is not Jacob. I was afraid it would be pronounced Jac-up and that would drive me nuts.

Avery is Chad's middle name. It was also his father's middle name and his grandfather's middle name. We always knew that the first boy we were to have would have the middle name Avery. I love that name.

Johanna Raye

Johanna's name is a little different than Clayton's. The first Johanna that I ever met was a girl I worked with many moons ago at the hospital. I fell in love with that name. And Chad has always wanted a daughter named Jo. Perfect. When we found out that JoJo was going to be a girl, she basically named herself. And then to learn that Johanna means "God is Gracious"...........well it was the perfect name for this special little girl.

Raye is my maternal grandmother's middle name and her preferred name. It's just a great southern name for a girl. I would(and might one day in honor/memory of Johanna) name a daughter Raye and call her that. I just love the name Raye.

One day down the road we hope to have more babies(a long way down the road). And being the over planner that I am you know I have names ready. Here's my list with a brief explanation of why.

Seth Douglas = Seth means "compensation". We mulled over that name for Clayton but it wasn't for him. But if we have a boy after getting to send Johanna back to the Father I think the name fits. And Douglas is my Dad's given name. The next boy we have will have Douglas as a middle name.
Raye Anne = I'm not 100 percent sure on the spelling because of my weird spelling quirks. Ann is my paternal grandmother's name and we would like to use it somewhere down the line. I like it spelled with the extra "e" just because it looks more even. Don't ask.......I'm just strange.
Caroline = a play on my mother's given name
Cole = we just like it

That's my names. I love names and I really love names that have a special meaning. After all you(and your children) have to live with your name for your entire life.

MIA

2010-05-05T13:26:00.001-04:00

We have a lot going on now through the end of the week and the beginning of next week. Because of that I will be MIA.

See ya'll next week.

To Love Their Husbands Tuesday

2010-05-04T14:38:00.003-04:00

I just love this idea by Lauren. It's a great thing to be in a fun and happy marriage. I must confess that I don't feel like I've done a lot in the past week to show my husband that I love him. I feel like I have done all the taking and he has done all the giving.

He helped(and by that I mean that he basically did all the organizing and moving) get the tables ready for our Ladies Banquest scheduled on Friday.
He has bathed Clayton every single night for the last week so that I could get ready for the speaking engagements that I've had recently. He doesn't like to do bath time so that was a sacrifice for him.
He's keeping Clayton this evening so I can go out with one of my SIL's for a girly make up evening.
He will give up his Friday evening to work at our Ladies Banquet.
He carries all the heavy things.

Chad is very good to me. So I gotta make up this week and make sure he knows how much I love, appreciate, and respect him.

JUST FOR FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the following video is just funny. Chad, Clayton, and I all love this commercial. We have been known to back up the DVR whenever it comes on. This same scene or something similar may or may not happen quite often at our house, or in our yard, or in the car, or a parking lot, or Walmart.

Mexican Cupcakes(or Fun Taco Cups)

2010-04-30T10:14:00.000-04:00

What you Need !

1 lb. ground beef

1 pkg. (1-1/4 oz.) TACO BELL® HOME ORIGINALS® Taco Seasoning Mix

1 can (10 oz.) refrigerated buttermilk biscuits

1/2 cup KRAFT Shredded Cheddar Cheese

Make It!

HEAT oven to 400°F. Cook meat with seasoning mix as directed on package.
PRESS biscuits onto bottoms and up sides of 10 muffin cups; fill with meat mixture.
BAKE 15 min. Sprinkle with cheese; bake 2 to 3 min. or until melted.

I copied this straight from the Kraft Foods website. I used the brands I had on hand. I think I made this for around $4 and we had leftovers for Clayton and me to have lunch the next day. It's really easy and very tasty. You should deffo try it.

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

2010-04-29T12:20:00.000-04:00

Our lives changed forever one year ago today. At 11:47am if you want to be exact. We felt like the floor had given way beneath our feet. Nothing has been the same since. We had to tell the world and that may have been as difficult as telling ourselves. But here we are 1 year later. Completely changed. Healing. Learning that life goes on even as one earthly life ends. We are different people because of the past year. We've aged but not necessarily matured. Life and therefore every single precious day, now has more value. Little laughs and crocodile tears from cute little red heads now have much more value. Life's sad days are even more sad, but we've found more hope than we ever imagined possible. The funny things that each day brings are 1,000 times more funny(and we really do enjoy a good laugh in our family). We have found our genuine smile again. We have found love that we never knew possible from our family, our friends, ourselves, and most importantly from ous Savior. We know without a doubt that His peace passes all understanding. We know that our Father hurts when one of His children hurts and He also heals His child. He has proved more sufficient than we knew possible.

Today marks 1 year since we learned that Johanna had Trisomy 18. It was a thought incomprehensible to us at the time but 1 year later it's part of our new kind of normal. I've been asked if I could have a healthy 6 month old Johanna would I change our circumstances and the events of the last year. And I can finally honestly say NO. To take away Johanna's Trisomy 18 would be to take away who she is. God created her fearfully and wonderfully. So No I wouldn't change her extra chromosomes. I wouldn't change one thing about Clayton and I wouldn't change one thing about Johanna.

I journal every day. It's usually short(but not always sweet). And my journal entries are usually more of my brief written prayers. Writing makes my thoughts more concrete and it also gives them a permanent place to dwell. Last night as I was journaling I looked back to last April and I read through the uncertainty.

April 27, 2009
Thank you for all of your blessings today. Thank you for keeping the baby alive and for allowing the baby to be otherwise healthy. Thank you for putting your hand on the baby and keeping it safe. Please touch the results of the CVS(Chorionic Villus Sampling). Help us to accept those results with grace and wisdom. Thank you for this baby and for what we are learning every day. It's my desire for the fluid to dissolve no matter the ultimate chromosomal outcome. Thank you for your blessings.

April 28, 2009
Thank you for a great and resftul day. Thank you for our children and for all the joy that they bring to our lives. Thank you for the privilege to raise and love another person in this way. Please provide calm and peace tomorrow as you have your will and way. Thank you for what you are doing and how you are working.

April 29, 2009(later in the evening after we received the CVS results)
Thank you for loving me. Please help us to trust completely in you. Please put your hand on Johanna and have your way in her life. Thank you for allowing us to be her parents.

April 30, 2009
Thank you for a great day. Thank you for providing peace and comfort. Thank you for protecting Johanna thus far. I want to be able to hold her before you take her to be with you. Thank you for choosing us to be her parents.

I don't know how I wrote those things on those days. It's amazing how God gives us exactly what we need when we need it. I've seen that so many times in the last year.

This is the way we choose to remember Johanna. Not sick or unhealthy. But fearfully and wonderfully made. Made in God's image and exactly how He planned her to be.

"I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well."

Psalm 139:14

A Day in the Life(Pictorial Version)

2010-04-28T12:45:00.000-04:00

8:09am

A healthy and wholesome breakfast of chocolate milk and toast

9:12am
Clayton got new jammies. I was detagging.

9:25am

I have no clue what he's doing but it looked cute.

10:15am

Practice makes progress, because I am a long way from perfect.

11:07am

Gag!!! This was load 1 out of 6.

I also had lunch with a friend today, but I forgot to take my camera. You would have loved a picture of my Taco Salad I'm sure.

1:43pm

Coupons. And you can see a little boy reading a book about tractors in the background.

6:32pm

Dinner. This was a totally random meal I found by accident that was fantastic. They were called Taco Cups but Chad and I renamed them Mexican Cupcakes. I think that makes them even more strange.

7:43pm

Emma(or Marley) did this to my favorite flip flops. I only wore them EVERY SINGLE DAY! And yes they were in the closet with the door shut. I don't know how she got them, but she did.

8:35pm

I spent a lot of my day here clicking away getting ready for Saturday. And a 1 to 2 hour presentation on genetics I get to give in 2 weeks. Seriously?? What am I going to say for 2 hours about genetics? But it's a great opportunity to share our story about God's Grace and providence to a completely secular group.

10:53pm

And finally a lengthy game of Monopoly with the hubs. He won because I ran out of money and refused to sell off any property. And it was after midnight. I was tired.

That was our day. There was so much more that happens in any given day.

But the best moment of the day was when Chad was giving Clayton his bath. I was again at the computer working on my speeches for Saturday. From our table you can see in Clayton's room and our bathroom. And since our house is tiny you can hear everything from everywhere. Totally out of the blue I hear "Your bath water is not hot, it just feels that way." I thought I would fall out of my chair. In fact it's funny right now. And then as if this is completely normal conversation in our house I hear "Stop drinking your bath water. I said stop. Spit it out now." I guess this is completely normal conversation with a 2 year old.

Tuesday(in bullet form)

2010-04-27T09:39:00.000-04:00

Mom and my SIL went to the E(xtraordinary)Women Conference in Greenville, SC over the weekend. It was a lot of fun. Jeremy Camp and Matthew West were both in concert during the event and they were fantastic. There were a lot of great speakers that were challenging and motivating. We laughed and cried. It was the perfect female event.
I earned my man card(a joke between my SIL and me) yesterday. I helped Chad take down a fence. If you remember from last week that I loathe yard work. And that includes fence work. But I like to think that I never shy away from a challenge. Chad asked if I would be willing to help him and I said "sure sounds like fun". It was fun. I have a blister on my thumb....tear.
I have two speaking engagements for Saturday. Yeah two on one day. Exciting. I have a new dress for them. Equally exciting. I get to talk about storms and women. I'm not an expert on either but I am a woman and I've been through storms.
Lunch with my friend today. Yummy!
Laundry awaits.

How I Met My Hubby(and a few other things)

2010-04-23T10:17:00.000-04:00

I think I shall link up with Kelly today and tell ya'll how I met the hubs. And then a few other things later on in the post.

Chad and I met at church many year ago. I think I was about 13(I think but don't hold me to that). Anyway I kinda thought he was strange and a little odd. You gotta remember that Chad is 100% country and I am 100% not country. He wears boots and I wear sparkly completely useless flip flops. That's just how we roll. Anyway I grew up in church. Chad did not. His family was not faithful to church until they started going to the church we attended when he was a teenager. After sometime his family recommitted their relationship with the Lord and became faithful to the church and to the Lord(which really is more important that faithfulness to the church, just sayin').

I was really young so I still didn't pay much attention to Chad. But little by little this hard core country boy began to catch my eye. And when I say country I really do mean it. Back in the day Chad was a blue ribbon rodeo star(calf roping and horsemanship), worked on a commercial hog farm, lived on a commercial poultry farm(can we say GROSS!!), and can fix about anything with a diesel engine. He's still trying to teach me the difference between donkeys and mules. Don't judge. I don't remember how things progressed but shortly after I turned 16 we went on our first date. We saw the worst movie ever "The Truman Show". It's a funny story now though.

We dated(which mainly meant the movies or Friday and Saturday night dinners at my house) for about a year and then we broke up. I still maintain that it's all Chad's fault. But for some reason he says it's mine. I'll never believe that. We didn't so much as speak for a year and a half. But then one day we went to McDonald's(very romantic I know) and it was like nothing had changed. That was in March and we were married in October. I was 19 and he was 20. Getting married that young without a doubt has its challenges. But God has worked wonders in our lives and our relationship and kept us together, faithful to each other, and faithful to Him.

Our lives are interesting that's for sure. We are incredibly busy and wouldn't have it any other way. We joke and say that God gave us the life we never knew we wanted. And every word of that is true. This is the condensed version for sure. Maybe one day I'll give ya'll the rest of the story(ie what God purposed independently in our hearts that year and a half that we wouldn't speak to each other).

A few more things(bullet style):

Leaving for another Ladies Conference in a few hours with Mom and my SIL. I'm excited and can't wait for the fun that you have by being around all ladies.
My dad's BDay was this week. Happy BDay Daddy!! Now I need your help for a gift for the man that has everything. Seriously some help would be nice. I can't let my brother show me up.
I turned Clayton's room into a big boy room yesterday. I cleaned out all of his baby toys and took down some of his baby decorations. He now has a truck and tractor room. Besides Veggie Tales(and I am NOT decorating his room with Bob the Tomato) trucks and tractors are his most favorite thing in the world. And they are his most prized possession. He room is all "trucked" out now. He walked in his room last night and said "Wow". Too cute and worth all day sorting the plastic toy mountain.
And last but certainly not least. Johanna would have been 6 months old today. I can say that today without tears but not without emotion. My heart still breaks for what I don't have and for what I feel like I'm missing. But that also means she's been with Christ for 6 months. And it's all been part of one eternal day for her. Miss ya JoJo. See ya soon.

Thanks for stopping by.

To Love Their Husbands Tuesday

2010-04-20T16:34:00.000-04:00

I do love my hubby. I really do. He's fantastic to me. He takes care of Clayton and me. And always makes me feel like his special princess. Chad has put up with a lot in the last year and it hasn't all been good. There have been a lot(and I do mean a lot) of ups and downs and Chad has helped me through all of that stuff.

So how do I show him that I love him? Probably in a lot of the same ways that ya'll do. I do the laundry and clean the house(sort of). But yesterday I lugged limbs around the yard. I loathe(hate, detest, despise, etc.) yardwork. I'm allergic(not highly but just enough to be annoying) to most seasonal pollens and grass that is either being mowed or has just been mowed. Chad does all the yardwork for our family. We have almost 2 acres of complete grass so there's a lot of work to do. Anyway, Chad wanted to trim(or chop down completely) some of the bushy looking things in our yard. I volunteered to haul them away while he tinkered with the lawn mower. I did it and have a blister on my thumb to prove it. He was happy that the yard is less bushy. I was happy to helps the hubs.

That's what I did yesterday to let my husband know he is very special to me.

Almost..............

2010-04-19T13:00:00.000-04:00

This week will begin a number of "1 year since" for us. In some ways it's hard to believe it's been a year since our world turned upside down. But on the other hand we're still getting used to the facts and statistics(for lack of a better word) that are now included in our life.

April 21st = 1 year since we first found out that something wasn't "normal" about our baby
April 27th = 1 year since we first saw the perinatologist and began testing for abnormalities
April 29th = 1 year since we said hello to Johanna for the first time and began our lengthy goodbye(or better put, see ya later) to her

Our lives are compeltely different than they were this time last year. They are different for the better(yes I mean that honestly and compeltely). It's been a year I would have never chosen to go through but a year I would do again. Even for 63 short minutes I would do it all again.

Shameless Plug

2010-04-16T11:38:00.000-04:00

What:     Youth Revival
When:    Saturday April 17th @ 7pm, Dinner at 5:30pm
Where:   Calvary Baptist Church Lenoir, NC(this is where we are privileged to serve and minister)
Who:      Pastor Keith Bowman of Bright Light Baptist Church Statesville, NC will be bringing the message for the evening.

WE WANT YOU!!!

Vision, Humor, Trees, Glasses, and Sharks

2010-04-14T23:11:00.000-04:00

Today I saw:

An adult wearing pajamas in public. This really irritates Chad and very very few things irritate Chad. We're talking full on flannel PJ's with tennis shoes and a ratty t-shirt. Gotta love living in the country. Does this happen to ya'll city folks?
And adult male with a tattoo on his forehead. It was like a sun thing in the middle of his forehead with some kind of crazy swirly thing on each side of his face. It was very strange. Clayton didn't quite know what to make of the situation. It's not like you see that every single day. He just kinda stared at the guy and then gave him the evil eye.
Mattie(Dad's dog) standing on a glass coffee table. Somehow she got on the table by accident and then she couldn't figure out how to get down.
A hefty sized lady wearing a belly shirt while I registered for summer classes. I think my warped sense of humor is gonna love going back to school.
A five star chef cooking bologna on a stick. And I happen to think this is brilliant and he should be awarded the Nobel Prize for putting a stick on bologna and then deep frying it.

It has been a most fascinating day. I'm thankful that God has given me the gift of sight and also the gift of humor. And yes I do believe God intends for us to have a little joy in our life.

Tomorrow Clayton and I are gonna go with Tram to the eye doctor and help her pick out new glasses. And then, drumroll please, we're going to a hands-on science museum type place in our area. They have fish and sharks and stingrays and things that live in trees and a hands on area for preschoolers(and appartenly run-on sentences). Tomorrow evening we have our monthy ladies group meeting.

And then..............

The hubs will be home late tomorrow evening. YAY!!!!! It's been nice to sleep in the middle of the bed. Well I may or may not do that anyway, but this week nobody has made me move. But I'm ready to have him home so our lives can get back to their abnormally normal state.

Good night peeps.

Victory

2010-04-13T09:20:00.000-04:00

Clayton and I survived our first night alone. Actually we enjoyed ourselves immensely. He got to play outside after dinner for 2 hours. We played trucks and tractors and ball. And then rode the horse with Uncle Andrew(Chad's brother) and our almost nephew Zach(it's a way long but wonderful story, and hopefully he'll be completely ours before long). Clayton loves Zach. Zach is 6 and I kinda thought he would get aggravated by a 2 year old following him around all googly eyed, but he doesn't. Then while Clayton ate a snack with Mawmaw I taught Zach the finer points of football. But I told him I would only teach him if he would be an Alabama fan. We didn't succeed at our first(and only) play. Nick Saban would have been disappointed at our blocking. But in all fairness my blocker was outweighed by 200 pounds and outnumbered by about 20 years. Andrew was the entire opposite team.

I started a new Bible Study last night and I LOVED IT. It's a 365 day walk through the women of the Bible. It started oddly enough with Eve. Imagine that right. And the approach was so different than I imagined. Usually Eve is seen as this evil, insubbordinate, disrespectful, and headstrong woman. And all of that is true. But she was also a broken woman. And because she became broken God used her in an amazing way and taught her amazing lessons and theological principles(don't I sound smart). Eve was broken by her sin and its consequences. Of course she had all the consequences we normally think of. But for herself she had to pay the consequences in the lives of her sons. One son was murdered and the other son was the murderer. I'm pretty sure that was a rough day. But then God restored her and gave her another son, Seth. And from reading the scriptures we find that Eve had something a lot of us(I fit in this category too) never achieve. She had VICTORY. She knew the battle was the Lord's and not ours. She knew that even though the snake would bruise the heel of her offspring her offspring would eventually crush the head of the snake(obviously paraphrased). I think Eve had mommy and wife guilt and life guilt like we all do. But she could live about that guilt because she remembered that God had already given her the VICTORY.

And you can too.

I've Got The Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy Down In My Heart

2010-04-12T10:24:00.000-04:00

I had a post by this title schedule to run bright and early Friday morning. But apparently Blogger freaked out and decided not to run it. And then as that post described I would be away from my precious lappy for the weekend so I had no way(or time) to fix it. And then I somehow broke my Facebook account from my phone and the world felt like it was tilting sideways.

Anyway all that was to say that the ladies of our church went to the Women of Joy conference in Pigeon Forge, TN for the weekend. It was wonderful, fun, silly, joyful, worshipful and oodles more. I decided at the last minute not to take my laptop so I could live in the moment and really enjoy all that the weekend had to offer and not feel like I needed to check email, blogs, or anything else. I can FB from my Blackberry and since I mainly use FB for people I know in real life I like having that connection. But then I somehow killed FB on the BBerry on the drive up the mountain. I don't know how that happened but I was exceedingly mournful. Thankfully my SIL took her mini lappy(to harvest her Farmville crops if you must know(this has brought me much joy this weekend)) and I swiped it momentarily to fix my FB account. And then all was right in the world again.

So that's where I've been. Now Chad has headed to Louisville, KY for a pastor's conference. This is his first conference and he is way excited. Clayton and I are gonna hang around the house, register(and pay GAG!!) for summer classes, visit our local science museum for some hands on fun, and just do our thing. He's currently roaming the house in a new pair of lime green flip flops. CUTE!!

Shameless Plug

2010-04-08T10:44:00.002-04:00

Shameless Plug Time:

Youth Revival:     Saturday April 17th at 7pm, Dinner to be served at 5:30pm
Where:                Calvary Baptist Church, Lenoir NC
Preacher:             Pastor Keith Bowman: Pastor of Bright Light Baptist Church in Statesville, NC

We want YOU!

Emma = Marley

2010-04-07T08:00:00.000-04:00

If you've seen the movie "Marley and Me" then you know that they call Marley the "worst dog ever" among a collection of other things. Well Chad and I have decided that Emma(or simply dog if you're a certain 2 year old red head) could be the next Marley.

She chews on everything. Including the old door hangers still left on our door facings. Our house had about a bazillion(that's a technical term) doors in it when we bought it. So we took them all down but for some reason we haven't removed the hingey hangy things. When we painted the door facings we(and I mean me) painted the hingey hangy things too. She's completed chewed off all of the paint on each and every one of the door facings.
She is teaching Clayton how to bark. They have recently been spotted barking at people that are walking down the sidewalk across the street. And yes when I say they, I do mean both of them are barking.
She has been a house dog since she was just a few weeks old and she is just now starting to get the concept of using the grass to do her 'biz and not using the tile or hardwoods.
She has a taste for leather. She has chewed up, in to tee tiny little pieces, one of Chad's belts(brand new) and a pair of really awesome nude colored dressy heels that I found at Goodwill for $3. I was so excited about these shoes because they were something totally new and different for me. I couldn't decide whether or not to wear them on Easter and at the very last minute decided to wear my black standbys and tossed the nude sandals on the bed. Mistake!!! There were tiny pieces of leather all over our bed. Lesson learned.
We've recently given her a little more rope and are letting her stay our of her crate while we are gone and at night. This works well most of the time. But occasionally she decides that Clayton needs to be awake at 6am(or earlier). She will either jump in his bed or stand at his bedroom door and bark at him until he gets up. Then you hear the two of them roaming around the house. It would be very cute and funny if it wasn't so very early.

But our Marley dog does go to bed with me every night. She snuggles up beside of me and stays with me until Chad makes her leave. She curls up with me on the couch if I fall asleep there(more often than not I do fall asleep on the couch). While I was infirmed and calling for death(that's a joke, maybe) Emma didn't leave my side. She hugged the porcelain throne with me and then curled up next to me when I eventually stumbled back to bed. She also doesn't lick like a lot of dogs. She will put her nose up next to you or even on you but she never licks. And she likes to talk. If she's not getting the attention she thinks she deserves then she will strike up a conversation. I think she's a keeper.

So Maybe It Wasn't a Better Day After All

2010-04-06T10:15:00.000-04:00

In yesterday's post I mentioned that Monday was a better day than Sunday. I was wrong. That was before.......

Clayton woke up doing great and kept down his toast and juice. He had horrendous diarrhea but I expected that and we just dealt with it. Midmorning everything took a turn for the worst. Last week I mentioned that it had been 14 or so years since I had been afflicted with a stomach virus. And I also mentioned that I hoped it would be another 14 years, if ever, that I woul dhave another one. Well it wasn't. It was more like 10 days. I most definitely did "catch" it again. And this time it was so very much worse than the first time around. This has been the absolute worst virus I can ever remember having. Chad wasn't home when I first got sick so I had to call him and ask him to come home. There is no caring for a 2 year old when you're sleeping beside the toilet yourself.

Things are marginally better this morning. I'm home alone and resting the day away. And I'm gonna try to degerm the house. I hope your family stays safe and healthy.

Our Easter 2010

2010-04-05T10:15:00.000-04:00

You know by now that our family does nothing the easy way. And Easter was no different. I love Easter Sunday. It's such a special day for everyone, but especially for those of us that are God's children. I don't know how Easter is done where you live but here in the south we do it up right. Every one is in their finest duds. And a lot of people have new kicks for Easter. Then after church it's time for family functions and traditions. And our family is no exception. Except yesterday was the exception(and I think I win the prize for using exception an exceptional amount in one sentence).

Normal and wonderful Sunday morning. Clayton went to sleep during church which is kinda unusual for him but not unheard of. And considering that he was awakened by Emma(the dog) around 6 am yesterday morning I expected him to sleep through service. Clayton woke up as we were leaving to head to Chad's parents for the afternoon. And then the unthinkable happened.

Clayton became the next victim to the stomach virus that Chad and I(and my parents) last weekend. And if you have a toddler then you know(as I learned today) there is no way to direct or predict when....uhm...."ruminate" is coming. So I just let it happen right there in the pew.

So all of our Easter plans were canceled. The three of us holed up at our house for the afternoon. Chad went back to church for communion during our PM service. I hated to miss communion again. I missed it last time because Clayton was sick. Clayton and I stayed home and watched, "Marley and Me", "Shark Tale", "Open Season", and oodles of Veggie Tales. A random assortment of moomees(movies for ya'll that don't speak Clayton).

So I have no pictures of Clayton in his really awesome Easter duds. They had to be laundered as soon as we got home. As did my Easter clothes and his car seat cover. Chad and I did decide that a sick child would be a great abstinence lesson for teenagers. Don't give them those mechanical baby doll things. Instead just let them take care of a sick baby for 24 hours. But that's just a theory.

Today's a better day. We're on the BRAT(Bananas, Rice, Applesauce, and Toast) diet today. I think the little man is feeling much better. We're gonna reschedule all of his Easter plans and traditions for later in the week. I know Easter isn't about all the traditions associated with it. But those traditions give Chad and me another opportunity to teach Clayton about our Savior and His amazing love.

He is Risen

2010-04-04T07:57:00.000-04:00

"He is not here: for he is risen, as he said. Come, see the place where the Lord lay." Matthew 28:6

On This Day........

2010-04-02T08:35:00.000-04:00

No silly words. No lists or ramblings. Only Praise!

But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

Isaiah 53:5

But there is so much more......................................................

How I Do What I Do

2010-04-01T08:44:00.000-04:00

I've had some questions, comments, concerns, blah, blah, blah sent my way about coupons. I find this quite hilarious. I am no guru. That is for sure. I make mistakes every single time those automatic doors slide out of the way at the grocery store. But I'm learning. And we've(and by we I mean me) seriously slashed our grocery budget in the last 2 1/2 months. It's a lot of fun. A lot of time and energy. I don't do most of the really hard leg work myself. I let some else do that for me.

Organization. I have discovered this is the absolute most important component to couponing. Knowing what you have and how to use it help me more than anything. I use the 3 ring binder approach for storing my Q's(that's what we're gonna call 'em for here on out). You can google coupon binder and you will find that you can purchase these pre-made from various places for a tidy sum. Think upwards of $40 or more. I simply bought a binder I liked with a zipper(that seemed important to me because I'm a tad bit clumsy), tab dividers, and baseball card holders. I had $21 in the Q binder. That's a savings of 50%.
Consistency. You either have to do it or not. There is no straddling the fence in the Q world. If you're gonna do it,then go all the way. Completely rethink your spending lifestyle. That's what we had to do to make it work. I consistently buy 3 Sunday papers every week. It's important to buy the largest paper that circulates in your area. For us that's the Charlotte Observer. Our local paper is like comparing the Walmart circular to the Sears and Roebuck catalog. Why do I buy 3 papers for a family of 3? The secret to Q's is striking while the iron is hot. You want to purchase the item at it's rock bottom price and then use your Q on top of that. If you can get mustard for .25 then why not get 3 mustards for .25 and stock up for a while. Then when you need it you don't have to go to the store and pay $2.25.
Time. Qing does take a lot of time. It takes time to clip, organize, weed through, plan your shopping list, and even shopping takes extra time. I have discovered it's easier to do when I can go without Clayton. But that rarely happens. After attempting to ingest raw chicken and tortilla shells all in one trip I decided to try those goofy looking kiddy friendly buggies. They are a pain to drive(I may or may not have toppled over a partial display of Ritz Crackers) but a life saver for Qing.
Humor. Enjoy your adventures. Mom and I have some crazy stories. Especially about trying to figure out Glade Candles at Christmas. I kindly requested that Chad stop at a different store(because it was more convenient) than where the best deal was so he could help me figure out exactly which candle was on sale. He groaned but I saved $$$$$.
Help. Don't try this game alone. Either learn the ropes with someone, use the web, or get yourself a Q mentor. Just get help or you will get frustrated. Mom and I work together to find the best deals. I also use a variety of websites. Southern Savers is my favorite. But I do have links on the right sidebar.

Think of Qing as a game. It's a challenge to pay the least amount possible for any given product. You will make mistakes and that's OK. Learn from the mistake and move one.

When I was made to be unemployed I self imposed a grocery budget of $200/month. In addition to food that amount also includes diapers, wipes, cleaning products, and toiletries. The first month I hit it dead on. Month #2 I went $6 over. And for March I was $24 over. But Harris Teeter was running Triple Coupon so I had to hit that up as many times as possible. I did reduce my April grocery budget by $24 to compensate for the overages in March.

I hope this helps.

Happy Qing!!

Today's Agenda

2010-03-30T09:17:00.000-04:00

Complete FAFSA so I can maybe get a little governmental help paying for school.
Go back to Harris Teeter for the 5th(you read that right) time and take advantage of Triple Coupons to get more freebies.
Get some goodies for our Spring Fling scheduled for Saturday for our miniature children(0-5years old).
Finish a flyer for Youth Revival
Make the beds
Eat lunch with my buddy at the Waffle House(I'm so excited about this place. The food is great and the price is even better.)
Change the bulletin board at church(I was gonna do this on Sunday but....well....GI viruses had other plans).
Have my High School transcripts sent to my new school(It's been so long since HS it will probably like sorting through the Dead Sea Scrolls.)
Zumba with my SIL. (She loves it. I've never done it. I'm petrified.)
Shower(immediately)
And round the day off with dinner at my 'rents and hear all about their Israeli adventures.

Just Thinking

2010-03-29T18:08:00.000-04:00

Do you ever wonder why God lets "bad" things happen to "good" people? I'm not even thinking about Chad, me, and Johanna at the moment because I don't feel we are "good" people and Johanna is/was not a "bad"thing. It just seems that sometimes life is skipping along quite nicely and everything is coming up roses. And then you hear of one bad event and that starts an abominable snowman sized chain reaction. Why is that? Maybe it's because once we are hurting our eyes, ears, and hearts are opened more widely to the hurts around us. I don't know if that's the case or not. It's just a guess.

The reason I ask is that I was cruzin' around on Facebook and was just noticing the sheer amount of hurt in the lives of my "friends". Sometimes it feels like we just bounce from one dramatic incident to another. I don't personally feel that way in my own life. Yes we buried our daughter and yes 2 months later I found myself unemployed. But both events have been the in my top 5 of all time best things to happen to me ever. Salvation, Chad, and Clayton round out my top 5. I could keep listing the best things that happen to me ever but that's not the point of this post.

But that does remind me that I should probably do that sometime soon.

Oy, I ramble.

If Johanna had been given to another family and we wouldn't have been her parents I don't know that we would have learned all the lessons about God's grace, mercy, and faithfulness that we've learned. And if I hadn't been given the old heave-ho out the back door of the doctor's office where I worked I would have never taken the opportunity to go back to school and fulfill one of my life's greatest dreams. By the way I was accepted to the Paramedic class scheduled to start in August. Woot!! I'm pretty excited.

I guess maybe perspective has a lot to do with a situation. After all if we believe God is all powerful then is He not in control of every situation? And if He sees that letting me bury my daughter or lose my job will bring Him more glory than their seemingly more pleasing alternative does He not have the right to do as He pleases? I don't know if this makes any sense or not I'm just rambling for the sake of making my own thoughts make sense. That's why I blog anyway.

Whatsoever the LORD pleased, that did he in heaven, and in earth, in the seas, and all deep places. Psalm 135:6

Just thinking..................

Unpleasantness

2010-03-28T13:08:00.001-04:00

Normally the family and I would be putting the finishing touches on whatever lunch had been prepared(or purchased). And then getting ready for Church Round #2. But today the three of us are holed up in our tiny house. We have been hit with yet another stomach virus. And more than just Chad has it this time. Any time a stomach virus is going around Chad inevitablly gets it. It's like the cruelest of gifts. And this time was no different. The difference this time is that somehow I received this "special" gift as well. I have not had a stomach virus since I was about 14. I honestly think its been that long. Even when I was pregnant with both kids I had very very minimal stomach issues.

I am now healed of my gastrointestinal unpleasantness(and hopefully it's another 14 years before I have it again). Chad is now afflicted with his. My parents are also in various stages of GI unpleasantness. Apparently their group of fellow travelers kinda shared the gift while they were in Israel. Clayton seems to be just fine. For now he's watching his third installment of Veggie Tales. I hope he stays well. He's not had any type of GI viruses just yet and I would like to keep it that way. But I don't guess I really have any control over that type thing. And no, we don't normally let him watch that much TV in a given day but he's trapped inside because it's raining outside. Our house is tiny. And he can't play with his most favorite playmate in the entire world(his Daddy). So he's kinda getting to do what he wants. The house looks like a Tonka Toy truck machine exploded. But that's OK. Everything should be right with the world tomorrow.

I hope you and yours stay well.

Adiso MoTown!

2010-03-26T12:42:00.000-04:00

Chad and I are headed out of MoTown in a few hours. It's a working overnight trip but that's what makes it awesome. I'll see ya'll on the flip side.

Pink.......How I Love Thee!

2010-03-25T15:14:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I noticed that I'm beginning to acquire a large quantity of pink things. My husband is somewhat concerned. I see nothing to be concerned about. I have always loved the color pink. It's just a fantastic and happy color. Currently I have on a fuschia short sleeved t-shirt layered over a baby pink long sleeved t-shirt. Why would you ever layer over white when you can layer over pink?

Here's the very very short list of my pink thingies:

I write with these every single day. They're my favey fave.

Dry my hair with this in the mornings.

This is my life line when I'm mobile.

My coupons are stashed in one of these.

My uhm.....money(or lack of) is stashed in one of these(but mine's fuschia).

My Tylenol(and various and sundry things) is stashed in one of these(the pink one).

I really like this particular bag. I don't have it but I like it.

And this just might be the best of all. I have one of these blooming in my yard right now. It's a Weeping Cherry Tree. And ours is HUGE!!!!!!! It's a very old tree and it's absolutely gorgeous. It's not in full bloom just yet. But in another week it will be absolutely gorgeous. I'm serious when I say that this tree stops traffice. Literally!!

And my toenails are 2 toned pink. Painted in the French Manicure style with a baby pink base and a hot pink tip. And yes I did it myself because I'm too cheap to pay someone else to do it for me.

I LOVE PINK!!!!!!!!!!

That's My Girl!

2010-03-24T08:00:00.002-04:00

On Monday I mentioned that I had received some encouragement related to Johanna that I didn't know I needed from a source I didn't even know.

The short version(you know nothing besides my height is short) is that the pastor that led the dismissal prayer at the banquet where I spoke told Chad and me that Johanna is exclaiming "That's my Mommy and Daddy". Please don't think these things are said to be boastful or proud. I'm just being real with you and telling you what has helped me lately.

I've been going through the book "Having a Mary Spirit". I so don't have a Mary spirit. I'm a Martha up one side and down the other so this has been quite a challenge. The author was describing God's possible reaction to His children when we "get it right". When something finally clicks or when we gain victory over whatever it may be on any given day.

When you have small children(infants and toddlers because that's all I know about so far) every minor accomplishment is a major achievement. Clayton picked up all his toys with no discipline required? Chad and I act like he just received an Olympic God Medal. That's how God reacts when we reach a spiritual milestone. When we achieve victory over the perpetual bad attitude.

This is an excerpt from my Bible Study. I don't if this is at all how God would do things but I guess it's a dumbed down human version. I really like it too.

"Woohoo! That's my girl!" He says.

"Did you see that?" He asks, turning to the angels and pointing to earth. Pointing to you and me.

"That's my girl."

What's It All Mean? And What's Going to Happen?

2010-03-23T10:20:00.001-04:00

As a former/future healthcare employee I'm so confused by the new healthcare reform bills. There are some parts that are fantastic and some that are awful. I've tried to do some self appointed research('cuz that's how I roll) to find out exactly what it all means. But I'm reading different reports and they are of course all conflicting. The actual bill is something like 1,018(literally I think) pages long. That's a lot of junk to rifle through. I'm not gonna try because after looking it I've determined it's a lot of legalese and political jargon. As are most types of legislation, legal rulings, legal contracts, and John Grisham novels(no I'm not knocking on John Grisham I think he's fantastic).

Here's my beef with healtchare reform.

The "Hyde Amendment" and the new "Stupak-Pitts Amendment" both state that Federal Funding(ie Medicaid or Medicare and the like) is not permissable for abortions except in the case of incest, rape, or the pregnancy endangers the life of the mother. Let me insert and say that I have nothing against Medicare and Medicaid and their use. Nothing at all. That's not my beef. Keep reading and you'll see where my problems lie. Here's the thing. The "Stupak-Pitts Amendment" really isn't an amendment. It's an executive order. An executive order is not always binding. They can potentially be overturned in the court system.

In a few years our nation's Insurance and Healthcare industry will be mostly if not completely federally funded. What happens then? I'm sure this is a stretch in thinking at this point but this is my fear. First off, I fear that the "Stupak-Pitts" order will be over turned and abortions will be federally funded. Therefore making me and the taxes that I pay, financially responsible for a practice I whole heartedly disagree with. Second, will pregnancies that have a psychological impact because the baby is "abnormal"(for lack of a better word) like that of Johanna's be considered to endanger the life of the mother? If a mother, receiving health insurance from any type of federal program, is given an adverse prenatal diagnosis for her child, and she begins to have mental health type difficulties related to that pregnancy will she then be allowed to legally terminate her pregnancy while my family foots the bill? Third, who is the person that will be saying what is "endangering a mother's life". Is the endangering influence only from the pregnancy itself or could it be from an outside source? Say a disgruntled boyfriend or husband that is abusive in some way to the mother? I don't have any disillusionments that our nation will ever reverse the 1973 decision of Roe v. Wade. Although I disagree with the practices, the US is a pro-choice nation. If you're a long time reader you know that I am staunchly pro-life.

Another beef I have with the Health Care Reform is the eventual ending or reducing of Medicare Advantage Insurance Plans. These plans are the best things since sliced bread for many people that use Medicare as their primary insurance. The plans do provide comperable coverage to any 80/20 group insurance plan, reasonable deductibles, and prescription coverage. Yes they are more expensive than traditional Medicare but only by about $20-$30 per month. They do have their flaws but all in all they are a fantastically affordable option for many Americans. I'm sad to see that these plans may come to an end.

Don't lose heart with the American Healthcare system. There are a lot of people that work very very hard everyday to make sure we all have the best healthcare imaginable. If I had a need I could be seen almost immediately at any number of local physicians. You have to remember that Insurance is(or was) a "for-profit" industry. We are(or were) a capitalist society. It's one of the things that have made our nation great. The fact that I can choose to shop at Walmart, Target, or KMart for the same products mean these places have to continue to work to provide the best deal.

May this recent upset in the status quo be a reminder to people of my generation(and everyone else too) to get out and VOTE on election day. I say my generation because the demographic that I'm currently pigeon holed in has the least number of voters. P. Diddy tried to change this and did great, but we're still the least among the numbered voters. Take an active role in the future of our government and country. Do I vote? Yes in every election. It's important. Far too long my generation has taken for granted all of our liberties. And now we will begin to pay for our lack of involvement. God did not put us here to think about ourselves. Rather we are here to serve.

Random I know but it's how I feel. Feel free to comment if you want. Please don't start a verbal assault or war in the comments. It's happened before when I say anything even slightly political. Be advised that if your comments contain any type of obscene language or references I will delete you. Feel free to disagree with me if you want, that doesn't bother me at all. That's your right as an American(and an awesome right if I say so myself).

Princess Johanna

2010-03-22T14:50:00.000-04:00

Saturday evening I had the privilege of speaking at the Caldwell Pregnancy Care Center's Volunteer Banquet. I am so honored that they would ask me to do this for them. The theme of their banquet was "God's Princess". It's a perfect theme for so many reasons. The ladies and gentlemen that volunteer their time and resources are royalty in their own right. And the ladies, men, and babies they minister to are also royalty because someone is taking the time to spread God's love. The whole evening was a wonderful experience. And the pastor that led the closing prayer just put the cherry on top of the ice cream for me. I spoke about Johanna, Trisomy 18, and the decision to give Johanna life. When this pastor stood up to pray he gave a simple illustration about how parents applaud all of the accomplishments of our children. When they do something fantabulous(do you like that word?) we will proudly say "that's my son/daughter". He simply reinforced that Chad and I have chosen the right path by saying that if JoJo could see us she would be saying "that's my mommy/daddy". I don't if all that's true or not but it just made me even more proud to be her mom.

Had she lived, Johanna would have been 5 months old tomorrow. I'm sure our lives would be completely different than they are now. But God had a different plan for our family. So for now we live without Johanna. But one day we will be with her again forever.

Friday......I'm in Love

2010-03-19T15:37:00.000-04:00

I'm loving this southern spring weather. If it's still cold where you are I'm really sorry. For now it's over 70 degrees in NC and sunny.
Clayton and I had a wonderful morning and afternoon with my grandparents. We did a little shopping, a little lunch, a little more shopping(is there ever too much shopping?), a little ice cream, and a lot of running outside. Clayton's currently sleeping off his big day. Thanks Grands for a great Friday.
Clayton and I are going to the park when he wakes up for more awesome outside fun. He's getting so big and loves to bounce all over the big steps and slides.
I'm speaking tomorrow night at the Caldwell Pregnancy Care Center's Volunteer Banquet. I'm super excited, nervous, thrilled, and anxious. If "all of the above" were an emotion I would fill in that bubble today.
I have an awesome new pink, black, green, and white sweater to wear. Maybe tomorrow night, maybe to church on Sunday. Who knows.
My parents and the rest of their caravan made it safely to the Holy Lands early this morning(but it was actually mid afternoon Israeli time).
I'm thinking of stir fry and strawberries for dinner. That sounds kinda springy.

I'm out of here peeps. The weather is beautiful and my house is a mess.

Big Ol' Jet Airliner

2010-03-18T08:22:00.000-04:00

Just a quick note asking for a favor.

Please remember my parents(and the other 45 or so in their group) in your prayers today and for the next 10 days. They are flying out this afternoon and heading to Israel. This is the trip of a lifetime for them and one they've been dreaming of taking for as long as I can remember. Chad and I are gonna escort them and a part of the group to the Charlotte Douglas International Airport in just a few hours. They're gonna have a blast I just know it. Thanks for praying for them, for their safety, for their enjoyment, and for their learning.

"Oh oh big ol' jet airliner"

Be Thou My Vision

2010-03-17T10:45:00.000-04:00

Most of us know the folklore type stories of St. Patrick's Day. Whether they are true or not I honestly do not know. I wasn't around in the 5th century to verify their accuracy. There is one part of St. Patrick's history that I just love. I have found this telling the same in multiple places. There is no variance so I will presume it to be accurate. At this point I have no proof to make me believe otherwise.

There is a song "Be Thou My Vision". It is a beautiful ancient Celtic Hymn. The song is beautiful both in music and in word. My brother and his wife had this song sang at their wedding. It's simply a great song. This is the history of this song.

The tune name is called 'Slane,' after the Hill of Slane in County Meath, Ireland. When Patrick first came to Ireland to spread Christianity, he was forbidden by pagan royal decree from lighting any fires at the Spring Equinox. Patrick defied the Royal Edict, and lit the first Paschal Fire in Ireland from atop the Hill of Slane. It's so tall (about 500 feet, or 160 metres) that the fire couldn't be missed. The pagan king at Tara was so impressed with Patrick's devotion that he gave him leave to begin proselyting. The rest, as they say, is history.(not my wording I swiped from a forum because I liked the way it was written)

High King of heaven, my victory won,

May I reach heaven's joys, O bright heav'ns Son!

Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,

Still be my vision, O ruler of all.

This May Be The Best Week Ever............

2010-03-15T08:00:00.000-04:00

I started using coupons to buy our groceries, toiletries, household necesseties, and basically everything possible in November 2009. I started basically because I needed something to do after Johanna. I needed something to occupy my mind. Well it, as with most other things I do, quickly became an obsession. In January, when I was "layed-off", that obsession quickly became a necessity. I'm loving it. I now balk at prices that only 6 months ago I would have easily forked over my hard earned money for without thinking twice.

I feel like I've done well but not fantastic with the coupon game. And that all changed on Thursday of last week. I haven't posted sooner because of my self-imposed bloggy break. I have a picture and then a break down of each item(minus their individual cost because I'm not that patient), and then the totals and percentages(I know I'm a nerd).

(I do not know why all of my pictures are glowing. I'm gonna blame Clayton.)

Items Pictured Above:

1 pack Pampers Cruisers Diapers
1 pack Pampers Baby Dry Diapers
1 tube Crest Whitening Expressions Toothpaste(in Cinnamon Rush if you must know)
2 CoverGirl Make Up Thingies(1 powder and 1 eyeshadow kit)
1 Palermo Pepperoni Pizza
9 cans Hormel Chili(mostly Turkey and a few regular to make my husband happy)
1 Gillette Deodorant
1 Gillette Body Wash in some strangely named manly scent
1 Old Spice Deodorant in an equally strangely named manly scent
1 Emerald Nuts Trail Mix
1 Meuller's Whole Wheat Rotini Pasta
3 Dawn Dish Washing Detergent
3 All Laundry Detergent
1 Kraft American Cheese(we were out so it was a necessity)
2 Shedd's Spread Country Crock Butter
1 Bone-In Chuck Roast
1 Bone-In Beef Shank(what can I do with this??)
1 pack Center Cut Pork Chops
2 bags Russet Potatoes

Total Before Coupons              $124.86
Total Savings                           $81.79
Total OOP                              $43.07 or a savings of 65.51%

And a big ole WOOT WOOT!! went up from Carswell Manor!

Bloggy Break

2010-03-11T08:31:00.000-05:00

I'm taking a break. Just for a few days. I have a lot going on mentally and spiritually that I need to sort through. No big announcements when I get back so don't get your hopes up for something amazing. It's just been a busy few weeks and I need some time to unwind, play with Clayton, and spend time with my husband. I'll see ya'll next week.

Wordless.......I Meant Wonderful Wednesday

2010-03-10T13:35:00.000-05:00

(I just find this hilarious. I don't know who the random people are or why everything appears to be glowing)

(Better)

(I'm pretty sure that snowball was meant for me)

Isn't That Special(Warning!! Prepare for Picture Overload)

2010-03-07T23:12:00.000-05:00

This past week and definitely the weekend have been an absolute blur. It's been crazy busy. There is a part of me(mainly my feet that have been in heels almost non-stop since yesterday) that is glad that this weekend is behind us. But it was totally awesome and worth all the work.

Tonight we had a "Welcome Home" extravaganza for a gentleman in our church that has just returned from military deployment in Iraq. You can follow their story at Crossed Moments. Robbie, we're glad your home and your family is whole once again. Thanks for serving for my family and me.

The weekends big event was our 2nd Annual Father / Daughter Formal. This is an event our youth hosts to celebrate the Father/Daughter(special man/special lady) relationship. I've got pics for you. It's an awesome night. Our young girls and young ladies dress to the nines. They have their hair and nails done. They are simply radiant. The Oscars have nothing on our ladies. It's true.

Table Decor

Chad's Army

Our Young Men that Served Appetizers and Dinner

Our Youngest Attendees

Our Most Seasoned Fathers

The Hustlin' Bustlin' Kitchen

(And 1 one more that I just find hilarious)

(?? Texting ??)

It really was a sweet evening for all the ladies and their Daddies or special men in their lives. I have a lot more pics that I could have shared. I can't wait to start planning for next year. It's been so much fun. Thanks again to all of those that helped us with this event. We couldn't do it without ya'll.

Now I think I'm gonna hit the sack. Maybe Clayton will decide to sleep in tomorrow morning. Nah.......probably not.

Fridayd Fail......I Am No Betty

2010-03-05T07:35:00.000-05:00

as in Crocker. I'm just not. I give it a valiant effort but I always seem to fail miserably. The attempt at Japanese restaurant style shrimp sauce.....FAIL. The first attempt at dumplings....FAIL.

Last night I was making tea. Nothing unusual or out of the ordinary. I make tea almost every single day so I should be a pro at it be now right? Wrong. After the water had boiled and the tea bag was introduced to beging the scientific process of steeping I immediately forgot I had even made tea. I just left it in the pot on the stove. ALL NIGHT LONG. I'm sure it was weaker than pond water so I just dumped it this morning. And I use Splenda instead of sugar to make tea. Do you know what happens to Splenda that sits out over night? It turns in to a hard brick like mass. That jug is soaking and since it's my fave, I really hope the Splenda brick comes out. Tea....FAIL.

And this morning I attempt to make blueberry muffins for my family. Mainly just for Clayton and me. Chad has some strange aversion to muffins. I don't get it either so please don't ask. Anyway I'm not culinarily gifted enough to make them by scratch so I pop open a box of Krusteaz Home Made Fat Free Blueberry Muffins. Just add water. I can do this. Or so I thought. I mix the batter and that's where everything else goes south. The blueberries are in a little tin of their own to keep the rest of the batter from becoming tainted with blueberry stain. Brilliant! But how does a woman that's been married for over 8 years cut herself on a mini tin of blueberries? I have no idea but I did. Clayton's chomping away on a muffin now so they must be edible. But he's wathching his daily dose of the Veggie Tales so I could probably lay a piece of cardboard down there and he would eat it. Blueberry Muffins....FAIL.

I'm hoping the rest of my culinary weekend is much better.

Transition Lenses

2010-03-04T11:17:00.000-05:00

Well maybe not lenses since I only need my totally cool tortoise shell Anne Klein glasses for anything that requires eye concentration. And while I'm on this subject does anyone else think their is such a thing as eye concentration? I'll explain. It's when your eyes have to do all the work. I have a hard time seeing things clearly and my glasses help. I can see fine without them but everything is kinda fuzzy around the edges. And my glasses take the edge off and help me avoid headaches. I have no idea what I'm even talking about at this point.

Transition was the real word I wanted to focus on but I got all caught up in my glasses. I feel like I'm in a transition period in my life right now. Kinda like there was a different life before April 2009 and there will be a totally different life sometime down the road. I don't know when this new life will start. Right now I'm assuming when I'm finished with school in 2012. Ugh..........that's a long transition period.

At this point I'm loving the transition. And that's a big step for someone like me. I loathe, no despise, change. It's awful. It's worse than mixing the food around on your plate. By the way that's gross. I seriously need a divided school lunchroom tray. Change is like that for me though. It makes me feel like my baked beans and slaw are all mixed together and I get all nervous and want to hyperventilate.

The "Great Lay-Off 2010" couldn't have come at a better time. Honestly. Excpet for the decrease in fundage things are great. And the decrease in fundage isn't a big deal either. God's taking care of us in His amazing ways. I'm learning some new lessons about life. And since I love lists almost as much as I love the idea of a divided food tray I think I'll make one.

I'm learning how to live better on less income. It's true that you get used to bringing in a certain amount of income. And when you think about decreasing that amount you automatically think it can't be done. Well, our family is living proof that it can be done. There are ways. I'm loving couponing(I may have become slightly obsessed) and learning to say no to purchases. I was looking for a pair of shoes for a little girl yesterday and found myself wondering towards the ladies dresses because a black sparkly number caught my eye. But with the Lord's help I resisted the temptations. I didn't touch it, or look at it, or anything. Aren't you impressed? OK fine be that way. I was pleased.
I'm learning that SAHM Moms have the absolute hardest job in the world. And I'm learning that I am still not cut out for this job. I still firmly believe it's not what God created me to do. But I do salute all of ya'll that can do this on a long term basis. I'm truly amazed.
I'm learning that a 2 year old boy has the attention span the size of a flea. Currently we're learning Philippians 4:13 and the letter "A". We have the first part of the verse almost down pat. But when he says it, it's in the most southern drawl imaginable. I thought mine was bad, but it's nothing compared to Clayton's.
I'm learning that I love church work and actually having the time to minister to all of the different groups at our church. Before I only had the opportunity to work with the youth but now I'm getting to work with the youth, the ladies, and the seniors. It's been a lot of fun.
I'm learning that flexibility is a great thing. I don't have a flexible gene in my body so this is also a hard lesson.

When I went back to work after Johanna's maternity leave I had a lot of mixed emotions and feelings. My routine was exactly the same as pre-Johanna and as when I was pregnant with her. I felt almost like she had never happened. And that's not a good place to be. But now that I have a totally different routine(and I do love a routine) I feel closer to her in some ways. Clayton is now more aware of Johanna's pictures and things around the house so that gives me more of an opportunity to teach him about his little sister. If I'm having a missing day(and yesterday was) I can take the time I need to get the help I need from whomever I need. Sometimes it's Chad, sometimes it's someone else, sometimes it's music, and sometimes I just need to get alone with God. At work I couldn't have done that quite as easily. I feel like I've been given an extra amount of time to continue to grieve and heal. And yes, I feel, you do have to grieve to heal.

So this got long and rambling. It always does whenever I sit down at my favorite lappy.